Certain Words and Phrases Can Undermine Your Credibility

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Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

During the month of June, my posts have been focused on interpersonal communications skills. In this post, words and phrases that can undermine your credibility.

In your work, it’s important to be taken seriously and develop a good reputation among peers, bosses and clients. But sometimes, language can undermine your credibility without you even realizing it.

Communications skills are vital in every business setting, but sometimes gets overlooked in the digital workplace. The way we communicate says a lot about our professionalism and credibility. The way we communicate can reveal our level of confidence – or lack thereof. The last thing you want to do is undermine yourself in front of bosses or clients, especially potential clients.

Every time you speak, you may be sabotaging yourself with your language  which can impact your success in business and in your relationships. The most disconcerting thing is that most of the time, you may not be aware of how you’re putting a roadblock in your business success with your words and phrases.

So which words and phrases should we avoid? Career and presentation experts say the following are the biggest culprits.

1) “I’m no expert,” “I may be wrong,” and “This might sound crazy”

Experts say these phrases appear to warn listeners that what you’re about to say is trivial and irrelevant and not to be taken seriously. You come across as insecure in your thoughts. Why would they take your statement seriously if you don’t?

Before: “I may be wrong, but shouldn’t we do a little more market research before launching the new product line?”

Preferred: “Shouldn’t we do a little more market research before launching the new product line?”

2) “Just,” “I just thought,” etc.

Similar to the phrases above, any phrase containing the word “just” expresses uncertainty about your statement. It downplays your message so recipients aren’t likely to take it seriously. When you eliminate the word “just” as well as its companion phrases, you’ll come across more assertive and confident.

Before: “It’s just that it might be better to delay the project until next week.”
Preferred: “It might be better to delay the project until next week.”

3) “Does this make sense?”

When you conclude your presentation or speech with this question, it’s as if you doubt your own words and you’re looking for confirmation from your audience that they understand you. But a much simpler way to accomplish that is to ask, “Do you have any questions?”

4) “I think,” “I believe,” and “I feel”

Experts say these phrases act as a buffer that dilutes your message and shows a lack of assertiveness. You can always replace it with more confidence-building terms such as “I’m confident” or “I’m optimistic.”

That said, I don’t think these phrases should be avoided altogether because they do have a place in our everyday language. Since they’re often used to express opinions, they may be better suited for casual conversations. If you want to make an impression, however, avoid these buffers.

Before: “I think you’ll be impressed with the new production.”
Preferred: “You’ll be impressed with the new production.” Or “I’m confident you’ll be impressed with the new production.”

5. Avoid fillers.

Ever listen to someone’s presentation filled with “um,” “you know,” “kind of,” and other meaningless phrases? Speaking that way lends doubt to the content of the presentation, writes Jerry Weissman, founder of Power Presentations, Ltd. The speaker comes across as ill-prepared and not very knowledgeable. They may know the information inside and out, but their presentation, complete with “ums” and “you knows,” makes you wonder if they really do know what they’re talking about.

According to Weissman, the following fillers should be avoided:

“Sort of”
“Kind of”
“Um”
“Actually”
“Basically”
“Really”
“Anyway”
“Pretty much”

For most people, the hardest part is being aware of their language and how they come across in presentations. Sometimes it’s easier to notice these transgressions when other people speak, but see if you can pay more attention to your own speaking habits. Maybe record yourself when you give a short speech. How many times do you fill your presentation with “ums,” “you knows,” etc.?

Communications are often filled with unnecessary words and phrases that can undermine your credibility in business situations. Be aware of how you speak and self-edit so you make a strong confident impression with everyone you meet.

Just for fun:
Stop Saying Sorry When You Want to Say Thank You — comic

With Mobile Devices, Can Workers Ever Truly Enjoy Vacation Time?

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Photo courtesy of Pixabay

The following post was originally published on The Regal Writer three years ago. It seemed like a good time to re-post as most people begin planning summer vacations. RL

Some years ago, I spent one week at a health spa located outside Chicago for vacation. I had a glorious time meeting people from other parts of the U.S. who were there to relax and jumpstart their health routines. There were no phones in the rooms, so most guests brought their cell phones, though the spa advised us to keep them shut off as much as possible during our stay.

Among the guests was a heavyset, stressed out attorney in his 50s, who was there with his wife under doctor’s orders to reduce the stress in his life. Every morning at breakfast, he’d be at the table talking on his phone with someone from his office. It always seemed that he was constantly on the phone, or his phone would ring during meal times. As that attorney raced out of the dining hall one day to deal with yet another business crisis at the office, another guest, a manager of a retail store, shook his head in disbelief. “I can’t believe he doesn’t have someone who can take care of things while he’s away. I’ve got a manager at my store that I trained to take care of things so I don’t have to worry about anything,” he said.

With the long holiday weekend ahead, many workers are taking extended vacations. But how many of them will still check business emails and phone messages when they’re supposed to be enjoying a massage or swimming in the pool? How can any of us truly enjoy our vacation if we’re still conducting business via our smartphone?

Granted, some businesses need to be open for the holidays, and certain professionals, such as medical staff and news reporters, must work part of the time or need access to their smartphones in case of an emergency. But for most people who are enjoying some time off, limiting their use of mobile technology for work is a necessary part of the vacation experience.

According to research from Pew Research Center, 64 percent of American adults owned a smartphone as of October 2014, and I’m sure that percentage has increased since then. Of American smartphone owners, 7 percent are “smartphone dependent,” meaning their mobile device is their only connection to the Internet because they don’t have broadband at home. In addition, 90 percent of adults own a cell phone, 32 percent own an e-reader and 42 percent use a tablet computer. With so many electronic gadgets available, it’s getting harder and harder to detach from work, even while sitting on a beach in the Caribbean.

The U.S. is not alone. Other countries are beginning to realize how overworked their employees are and are relaxing demands on their time. A few weeks ago, for example, thanks to legislation passed by the French government, French workers are no longer required to check into the office or check business emails on the weekend. Their workers, they say, need to take a mental break from work to be more effective.

If you are about to embark on vacation this summer, here are several strategies to help you truly “get away” from the office so you can enjoy the beach, golf, picnics and other fun activities.

1. Set time limits for checking emails and phone messages. Give yourself 30 minutes in the morning, and maybe, MAYBE, 30 minutes at dinner time if necessary. Only respond if there’s an emergency. The less time you spend responding to business emails and calls, the more time you have to relax.

2. Send reminders to co-workers and business associates that you are about to go on vacation. Explain that you will have limited accessibility to email and cell phone, so it will be difficult to reach you except in case of an emergency. Outline what you mean by emergency too, because, as we all know, one person’s idea of a minor issue is a crisis to someone else.

3. Ask yourself, how important is this issue? Does it have to be resolved now, or can it wait until you get back to the office? See if you can barter for more time.

4. If possible, train someone in the office to deal with problems in your absence. If there is no one you can trust to handle business in your absence, you might need to shut down for a few days with a sign on the door and a message on your voicemail indicating you are on vacation.

5. If you really want to get away from it all, go somewhere with spotty Internet service. You won’t be able to check emails, phone messages or update social media profiles, but no one will be pestering you from the office either.

The last thing anyone wants to do on vacation is to think about work. Depending on your job, sometimes it can’t be helped. But by implementing a few personal strategies, you can relax and enjoy your vacation the way you are meant to.

 

How to Fire an Employee: Text, Email or Meeting?

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It’s no fun being fired from a job, especially one you’ve enjoyed for many years. Neither is it fun to be the one who has to fire someone. Just ask anyone who has ever been in that position.

There is no good way to tell someone that they no longer have a job or end a working relationship. With the prevalence of texting, email and social media, it can be tempting use these tools to do the job for you. It might be easy and convenient, but is it wise? And is it professional?

Texting and emails have become commonplace in the office, especially for routine tasks like scheduling meetings, confirming appointments and sharing ideas. At the same time, in-person meetings and phone calls are losing favor, especially among millennial workers.

When it comes to being fired, millennials prefer getting the notice by email or text. A recent survey by software company Cyberlink finds that one in eight workers between the ages of 21 and 31 said they prefer getting fired by text or instant message. (I suppose the other seven out of eight surveyed still prefer in-person meetings, phone calls or some other method.)

Despite the increased popularity of texting and emails for firing people, in-person meetings are still the best way to go, according to millennial expert Dan Schwabel in his book “Back to Human: How Great Leaders Create Connection in the Age of Isolation.”  Today’s workforce yearns for personal communication in the office, he says in a recent story in the New York Post.

While it might be easier to shoot out a quick email or text message to fire someone, it can come across as cold, impersonal, and in some cases, downright cowardly. Are you too busy to meet with the individual in person, or simply want to avoid confrontation? In-office meetings to fire someone, regardless if that person performed poorly on the job or is being downsized, is more appropriate for the situation and shows more respect for the individual. It is more crucial if the individual has worked with your organization for some years, since you have already established a relationship with them.

Whether you choose to dismiss an employee by email, text or in person, a lot depends on the type of relationship you have with that person, how long they’ve worked at your organization, your age and your communications style. Still you want to treat them respectfully and professionally, no matter how lackluster their performance has been on the job.

Put yourself in their shoes. If you were the one being fired, how would you want to receive the message? Do you really want to get that notification in a text message, or would you prefer an in-person meeting so you can ask questions and iron out all details?

There is no kinder, gentler way to tell someone they’ve lost their job. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet. But meeting with someone in person, rather than hiding behind a text message or email, I believe, is more personal and sincere.

Texting, emails and social media have their place in the workplace. But there’s a time and a place for them. When it comes to firing someone, meeting in person is still the best option.

Workplace Trends for 2017

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As the world of work races toward the end of the first month, let’s take a look at some of the workplace trends that we may encounter in 2017, if they haven’t shown up already. Here’s a round up of these trends, as observed by three different sources: TINY Pulse, Greendoor and futurist Faith Popcorn. As the year continues to unfold, it will be interesting to see how many of these forecasts come to fruition.

From employee engagement consultants, TINY Pulse:

* Co-worker connectivity will remain a key focus for many companies. In a study with Microsoft, TINY pulse found that employees with the most and strongest connections among their peers are the most productive. With the goal of maximizing productivity, expect more companies to shift to collaborative work environments.

* Employees will receive real-time feedback rather than annual reviews. Companies will realize the advantages of routine one-on-one feedback from managers. Research finds that employees who receive regular feedback feel they are being heard, feel more valued and are happier.

* The role of middle manager will expand and be more visible. Middle managers will take the lead in employee engagement, according to TINY Pulse.

* More companies will implement leadership development programs. As baby boomers retire, younger peers will need to step in to take their place. More companies will provide leadership programs to ensure a smooth transition.

* A better job market threatens businesses. More employees will be tempted to look for new jobs as the job market improves, and that can put a strain on employers to fill vacancies and keep the employees they do have.

From career website, Glassdoor:

* Say good-bye to excessive benefits packages. Over-the-top perks like on-site spa treatments and ping pong tables are more style than substance, say business experts. Employees prefer bonuses, paid leave and health care coverage.

* More companies will attempt to close the gender pay gap, and be more transparent about what they pay their employees.

* The just-in-time gig economy will still be around, but won’t likely plateau beyond the current task-oriented phase.

From futurist Faith Popcorn:

* More robots will replace humans, especially among unskilled blue-collar workers. Popcorn cites an Oxford University study that reports 47 percent of U.S. jobs are at risk at being replaced by robots.

* More than one-third of the U.S. workforce work on a freelance basis, and that percentage is likely to increase in 2017. People are also taking on side gigs to offset income.

* The businesses will become more tolerant of emotional expression in the office. With more women in the workforce, they bring more emotional intelligence – and more emotion – to work with them. It will be more socially acceptable to cry, laugh and get angry.

* Some companies will add “stress rooms,” a private place where employees can get away from workplace tension temporarily and chill out.

* The boundary between work and play will begin to erode. Technology enables global constant communication, so while that helps improve real-time communication with clients and employees across the globe, it means employees have little free time to play and relax. Say good-bye to work-life balance.

What do you think are trends we might see in 2017? Share your thoughts below.

Business Lessons from the World Series Champions Chicago Cubs

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It’s been nearly a week since the Chicago Cubs clinched the World Series championship, ending 108 years of futility on the baseball field and finally putting to rest any further talk of goats and curses. While still in the throes of celebrating their victory, it’s also helpful to look at their rise to the top of the baseball world. What can we all learn from the Cubs’ championship run? How can we apply these lessons to our businesses and our work life? Here are a few of my observations.

* If things aren’t working out, start over. Sometimes you have to take a step back in order to move forward. That means cutting the dead wood, so to speak, letting go of the pieces that no longer work, fixing what can be fixed, and rebuilding the business from the ground up.

In the case of the Cubs, that process started at the top rather than the bottom of the organization.  A change in ownership in 2009 brought the Ricketts family on board, followed by the hiring of Theo Epstein and Jeb Hoyer to manage the team’s operations and begin the rebuilding process with the players.  With each new trade and draft pick, the Cubs slowly created a team that was built to win for the long term.

* You may need to go through a few lean years before seeing results. Like any other business, you have to take a few risks and make some tough decisions that may not be popular with your clients. For several years, the Cubs did not have a good team on the field. In 2011, they lost 100 games and fans were doubtful of the changes the Cubs leadership was making. But Epstein and Company stayed the course, knowing they had a game plan they were putting into place, and they repeatedly asked fans for patience. The fact is, whether you run a baseball team or a small boutique business, success does not happen overnight.

* Develop a long-term strategy for success. Create a strong vision of your business. Write down your business goals, and figure out how to achieve them. Develop a detailed plan and make adjustments along the way as needed. The Cubs had a clear vision for the team and knew what it would take to achieve it. Without that detailed plan, owners would have lost faith, and the fans would have too.

* Acquire the best players that can help you achieve your goals. Make sure those team players complement one another in terms of temperament and talent. When they like and respect one another, it’s much easier for them to work together toward a common goal. That likability and respect was on display during the Cubs’ World Series play, both on and off the field.

* Hire a good, strong leader to motivate the team to perform their best. Cubs’ manager Joe Maddon is a master of motivation. He respects his players, and encourages them to have fun, even if they’re on an extended losing streak. A good leader will always bring out the best in your team, so hire the most qualified person you can find.

* Have fun. You don’t want to create an environment of all work and no play. Have fun doing what you are doing, and share that joy with the people you work with. People who infuse humor and fun in their workplace are more productive and are better team players. And that bodes well for the success of your business.

* You need to work hard every day to improve your performance. There is an old saying, “Work comes before success only in the dictionary.” The Cubs have a lot of young players they have drafted over the years. With the assistance of coaches and several veteran players, the young Cubs are still developing their talents, and must continue to work hard each day to learn and grow as individually and as part of a team.

*Savor success and share it with others, especially your clients and your fans. The Cubs’ shared their achievement with their fans in one memorable parade and rally. Likewise, when you meet certain productivity goals, celebrate. Break open a bottle of champagne or treat your team to a pizza party. Recognize the important roles they play in your business success. Without them, your business would likely dry up.

No matter what type of work you do, or how you define success, whether you work for yourself or for an organization, there’s always something to be learned from seeing the success of other organizations. Perhaps the most important lesson to learn from the Cubs’ success is their own motto: Never give up.

 

Communication Helps Co-Workers Cope with Sudden Death

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Over the weekend, the baseball world lost a rising star. Jose Fernandez, a young, talented pitcher for the Miami Marlins, died in a boating accident early Sunday morning.

This news story reminds us how important it is to communicate the sudden, unexpected loss of a colleague quickly and with sensitivity and tact.

I’ve had the misfortune of experiencing two co-worker losses over my career. In one case, a co-worker died from a bacterial infection after delivering her baby two months prematurely. In the second scenario, a co-worker had committed suicide in his apartment. I had to convince my manager to share the news of this worker’s death personally in a staff meeting rather than by email, which she wanted me to send out. Email might seem easier and more convenient, but it can come across as cold and impersonal when a more delicate touch is needed.

It helped that both of these co-workers worked in small offices of less than 50 people so it was easier to communicate their deaths than it would have been if they worked in larger companies.

Delivering news of a co-worker’s death is one of the most difficult communications issues a manager will ever face. Emotions are raw. The news may still be fresh and you haven’t had time yet to absorb it.  There is a need to remain calm so you can help employees deal with their grief even as you struggle with your own.

The Society of Human Resource Management (SHRM) and the American Psychological Association offers suggestions for communicating the news to employees and helping them cope with their loss.

1. Deliver the news quickly and personally. A group meeting is best for small offices or departments, while a conference call will be better for remote workers. In larger companies, news may best be shared in department meetings. Avoid using email as it can be cold and impersonal. If the deceased employee was well-known or worked in a small work environment, their co-workers will likely want to hear the news firsthand.

2. Set up a telephone tree to share the news with managers. Begin with the HR manager, who may be responsible for contacting a handful of other managers, who will be responsible for calling people in their department. The news will filter down through layers of management that way.

3. Allow staff members to grieve and share their feelings with one another. This could be in a separate meeting among staff, or with a crisis counselor. If an employee is having an especially hard time with grief, allow them time off to attend the funeral or to cope with their loss.

4. Take advantage of employee assistance programs if your company offers it. Experienced counselors can offer support and advice and help make plans for memorials and other gestures of condolences to family members.

5. Honor the employee’s memory. After sufficient time has passed, perhaps several weeks or months, employees, especially those who were closest to the deceased, may decide to remember their colleague. Planning a fundraiser, creating a memory book of photos and mementos, hosting a community outreach day in their memory, or honoring the employee at a staff luncheon are just some ideas that can help workers put a positive light on a terrible tragedy.

Learning of a co-worker’s sudden death can be an unsettling experience for everyone in the office. Communicating the news with sensitivity and tact is key to helping workers cope with the loss.

With Mobile Devices, Can Workers Ever Truly Enjoy Vacation Time?

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Photo courtesy of Pixabay

Some years ago, I spent one week at a health spa located outside Chicago for vacation. I had a glorious time meeting people from other parts of the U.S. who were there to relax and jumpstart their health routines. There were no phones in the rooms, so most guests brought their cell phones, though the spa advised us to keep them shut off as much as possible during our stay.

Among the guests was a heavyset, stressed out attorney in his 50s, who was there with his wife under doctor’s orders to reduce the stress in his life. Every morning at breakfast, he’d be at the table talking on his phone with someone from his office. It always seemed that he was constantly on the phone, or his phone would ring during meal times. As that attorney raced out of the dining hall one day to deal with yet another business crisis at the office, another guest, a manager of a retail store, shook his head in disbelief. “I can’t believe he doesn’t have someone who can take care of things while he’s away. I’ve got a manager at my store that I trained to take care of things so I don’t have to worry about anything,” he said.

With the long holiday weekend ahead, many workers are taking extended vacations. But how many of them will still check business emails and phone messages when they’re supposed to be enjoying a massage or swimming in the pool? How can any of us truly enjoy our vacation if we’re still conducting business via our smartphone?

Granted, some businesses need to be open for the holidays, and certain professionals, such as medical staff and news reporters, must work part of the time or need access to their smartphones in case of an emergency. But for most people who are enjoying some time off, limiting their use of mobile technology for work is a necessary part of the vacation experience.

According to research from Pew Research Center, 64 percent of American adults owned a smartphone as of October 2014, and I’m sure that percentage has increased since then. Of American smartphone owners, 7 percent are “smartphone dependent,” meaning their mobile device is their only connection to the Internet because they don’t have broadband at home. In addition, 90 percent of adults own a cell phone, 32 percent own an e-reader and 42 percent use a tablet computer. With so many electronic gadgets available, it’s getting harder and harder to detach from work, even while sitting on a beach in the Caribbean.

The U.S. is not alone. Other countries are beginning to realize how overworked their employees are and are relaxing demands on their time. A few weeks ago, for example, thanks to legislation passed by the French government, French workers are no longer required to check into the office or check business emails on the weekend. Their workers, they say, need to take a mental break from work to be more effective.

If you are about to embark on vacation this summer, here are several strategies to help you truly “get away” from the office so you can enjoy the beach, golf, picnics and other fun activities.

1. Set time limits for checking emails and phone messages. Give yourself 30 minutes in the morning, and maybe, MAYBE, 30 minutes at dinner time if necessary. Only respond if there’s an emergency. The less time you spend responding to business emails and calls, the more time you have to relax.

2. Send reminders to co-workers and business associates that you are about to go on vacation. Explain that you will have limited accessibility to email and cell phone, so it will be difficult to reach you except in case of an emergency. Outline what you mean by emergency too, because, as we all know, one person’s idea of a minor issue is a crisis to someone else.

3. Ask yourself, how important is this issue? Does it have to be resolved now, or can it wait until you get back to the office? See if you can barter for more time.

4. If possible, train someone in the office to deal with problems in your absence. If there is no one you can trust to handle business in your absence, you might need to shut down for a few days with a sign on the door and a message on your voicemail indicating you are on vacation.

5. If you really want to get away from it all, go somewhere with spotty Internet service. You won’t be able to check emails, phone messages or update social media profiles, but no one will be pestering you from the office either.

The last thing anyone wants to do on vacation is to think about work. Depending on your job, sometimes it can’t be helped. But by implementing a few personal strategies, you can relax and enjoy your vacation the way you are meant to.

 

When a Former Employer Comes Calling, Should You Answer?

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Have you ever worked for a former boss or employer? And if you did, was your partnership as successful the second time around? Or did you hit a dead end?

Twice in my career I’ve been approached by former employers to work for them. In one case, a former supervisor invited me to be her administrative assistant 18 months after joining a new company. All signs pointed to yes. I loved working for her the first time around, I was stuck in a dead end job, and the new job paid about $5,000 more than what I was making. So I said yes, though I left 18 months later to pursue another opportunity.

More recently, I was invited by a former employer to manage their bi-monthly magazine. While I was flattered that they thought of me for this role, I didn’t feel I was the right fit for the job. With a new CEO on board, the company was going through a transition and the culture of the organization had changed. I didn’t want to lock myself into a stressful, political situation, and I wanted to be free to pursue my own creative writing. So I told them no.

Looking back, I do not regret either decision. Both situations have worked out fine. In the first scenario, in the short time I was there, I gained valuable experience in a new work environment. In the second scenario, I realized I did not have a lot to gain personally or professionally from rejoining a former employer. The organization  eventually hired a new manager who brings a sorely-needed fresh perspective to their publication.

If a former boss comes calling, would you jump at the opportunity? Whether you accept or decline the offer depends on what your needs are. There are reasons to accept, and reasons to say “No, thank you.”

Reasons to accept an opportunity with a former employer: 

It helps build your resume. Additional or different responsibilities stretches your professional muscles. Perhaps you have an opportunity to manage a department, oversee a project, or supervise staff that you did not have previously. Even if you hold on to this situation for one year, that experience looks good on your resume.

It offers a higher salary. Financial stability is always a plus, but don’t accept a job only because of the salary. You need to weigh other factors too, such as compatibility with co-workers and the supervisor, and opportunities for career growth. Taking a job, or staying in one, just for the money and benefits can hurt your morale. In my experience, these types of work situations tend not to work out well for the long term. And you may find yourself hitting the pavement again in six months after realizing that the job wasn’t’ everything it was cracked up to be.

You like the person you’d be working for. All things considered, when you like your boss and you have a strong bond with them, it makes it possible to like the job, even if it isn’t exactly the type of job you wanted. Having a good relationship with your boss can help get you through difficult work projects. Just be aware that your relationship with a former boss in a different corporate culture can put pressure on your relationship, and working for this person my not be so enjoyable the second time around.

Reasons to decline an opportunity with a previous employer: 

The company does not have a good reputation. Do your homework about the company. Just because a former boss invites you to work for them doesn’t mean the new company is right for you. The culture of the organization may not be compatible with your personality. Use social media to find current and former employees. Did the company treat its employees well? Is the company experiencing layoffs or going through a difficult managerial transition? While some change in the corporate culture is necessary to weed out outdated systems and processes, you don’t want to work in hostile, unstable work environment.

The opportunity does not fit in with your long-term career goals. Or you want to do something completely different. Our career goals are constantly changing. What might have been an exciting opportunity five years ago may no longer thrill you because you’ve moved on to different career options. If you’ve had writing jobs most of your adult life and you find you’d rather teach children, then no lucrative job offer is going to make you happy.

The job is too much like what you’ve done before. The office space and co-workers may change, but the work does not. The new opportunity might pay well and offer great benefits and growth opportunities, but if you find yourself doing the same type of work that you did before, and there’s not room for career growth, it’s probably time for a career reassessment. There’s nothing more disheartening than being stuck in a job with little opportunity for advancement and smacks of the same-old, same old.

It can be flattering when a former boss comes calling, but keep in mind that any new opportunity that arises should be a win-win situation. You should benefit from this opportunity as much as your boss does.

Listen patiently to their proposal and ask a lot of questions. Don’t fall for any carrot-on-the-end-of-the-stick proposals that your former boss might present to you. Those proposals may never materialize or they may benefit your boss more than you.

Know yourself and always keep a clear vision of your career goals. As long as you keep those goals in sight, you will never be steered in the wrong career direction. If you feel the opportunity does not meet your professional goals, then it’s okay to say, “Thanks, but no thanks.”

Movie Review: “The Intern” Teaches Workplace Communication The Old-Fashioned Way

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It used to be that men carried a clean handkerchief with them for those rare occasions when they needed to blow their nose, or as Robert DeNiro’s character Ben Whitaker suggests in “The Intern,”  hand it to a woman in distress. “Women cry,” he explains to a young male co-worker at About The Fit, a clothing e-commerce business where they work. “You need to be ready to give them your handkerchief. That’s the only reason we carry it.”

In a later scene, when the object of the young co-worker’s affection cries, fretting about her future with the company, he rushes to her side and hands her a handkerchief (conveniently provided by Whitaker who happens to be standing by).

In today’s fast-paced business environment where Twitter and texting are today’s communications tools of choice, sharing a handkerchief seems quaint. But perhaps DeNiro’s character knows something many of his younger co-workers haven’t learned. You can communicate a lot more with a simple gesture – a hug, a smile, a hand on a shoulder or passing along a clean handkerchief – than you can with any mobile device or social media message. The fact is, exchanging words in an email or text message might be the standard of the day, but they are only tools of the trade. What do they really communicate? What we might have gained in efficiency in our communications via our mobile devices, in the process, have we lost the personal connection and compassion that our relationships need to thrive?

Whitaker was a master at observance. He learned more about his workmates just by watching their behavior and listening to their conversations. Whitaker’s calm and cheerful outlook did not go unnoticed by his boss, Jules Ostin (played by Anne Hathaway), who wanted to transfer him to another department because she was uncomfortable with him around and didn’t believe she needed his services. He was, in Jules words, “too observant.”

How much more can we learn from our colleagues and clients if, like Ben Whitaker, we simply kept our mouths shut and observed what is happening around us. Whitaker may not have been Facebook-savvy, but he understood more about how to communicate with compassion and maturity.  He noticed when Jules was struggling in her marriage without interfering, though he might have been tempted. And he refused to judge others for their behavioral indiscretions and refrained from expressing his opinion, allowing others to learn from their own mistakes. He was adept at reading people’s emotions, and that’s a lost art.

What I appreciated most about this film, though not a movie classic by any means, was that the younger co-workers eventually accepted Whitaker and all his apparent eccentricities. They learned more from him than they were willing to admit, including the co-worker who was so intrigued by Whitaker’s old battered briefcase that he bought one for himself on Ebay.

These are communications lessons we all can learn, no matter how old or young we are.