We all have our ghosts — people and events from our past that exude some power over us long after they’ve left our world.

Ghosts can be real or imagined, literal or metaphorical. Often they don’t even look like how they’re portrayed in costumes or in movies. There are no white sheets with giant holes for their eyes roaming the streets.

In reality, ghosts can be anything that isn’t easily explained, said essayist and ghost nerd Bruce Owens Grimm in a workshop I attended some years ago. It can be a sudden knocking on the wall, a fire alarm that goes off, a scent of perfume that permeates the air with no one around or lights suddenly switching on. It could be a sudden chill in the air or a rush of a breeze as if someone brushed past you.

Ghosts can be metaphorical as well, said Grimm, such as a memory, a daydream, a nightmare, a secret or feelings of guilt, grief, fear or anger. In fact, any event in your life that has left a lasting imprint can be a ghost if it forces you to examine its sudden appearance and meaning in your life. Why, for example, did that memory or that song or that perfume scent manifest at that particular moment? What was going on in your life that brought about its appearance?

A writer’s task is to explore what these ghosts mean to them. Identity is often a major theme in haunted memoir, so ask yourself this question: what role do ghosts play in the story you tell readers about who you are?

When it comes to writing about our ghosts, most writers choose memoir or essay to share their tale. While autobiography presents the writer’s life in chronological sequence starting from childhood, memoir and essay focuses on a particular period of your life. The key element to memoir is self-reflection.

“Rather than telling a story from her life, the memoirist both tells the story and muses upon it, trying to unravel what it means in light of her current knowledge,” suggests Judith Barrington, author of Writing the Memoir.

There are different ways to approach writing a memoir and different ways to share the ghosts of one’s past. Here are a few general guidelines for writing about your ghosts that will haunt your readers.

1. Stay focused on a particular time period, event or theme. For example, you might focus your memoir about attending a boarding school in a foreign country or working at a cemetery.

2. Be truthful about everything you experience. Avoid exaggerating details, but be honest about what you saw, heard and felt. Don’t use memoir to exact revenge on anyone and avoid writing in anger or be bitter about past events. It’s more important to tell your story with honesty and objectivity.

3. Put readers in your shoes. Immerse them in the action as you experienced it. When you let them see events from your perspective, your writing becomes more authentic and readers will find your story more credible and believable.

4. Use all five of your senses. Describe your experiences through taste, touch, smell, hearing and sight. Let readers feel the coarse straw when you hid under a haystack, the scent of lavender perfume that permeates the foyer of the haunted house you once lived in, or the sharp, or the various shades of red and gold of an autumn tree you remember from your childhood home. When you engage all of your senses, it helps readers experience your life the way you did.

5. Slow down the action. When the scariest scenes arrive, slow down your story telling, suggests A.E. Santana at the Horror Tree Blog. Take time to describe the scene as you saw it. Let readers follow along as you explore the dark, cold basement or the crunch of leaves under your feet as you tiptoe through a graveyard. Slowing down the action adds suspense and makes readers believe they were there in the scene with you.

6. Show your personal growth. An important element for memoir is personal transformation so be sure to show readers how your life changed over time as a result of your haunted experience. What was your life like at the start of your story, and how did events change you at the end? Did you embrace a new identity for yourself? Did you learn a life lesson? Readers will want to know what a difference this event had on your life.

A final tip: After a life-changing event, some writers have difficulty writing about it right away. Let sufficient time pass to reflect on how this haunted experience affected you. More traumatic events will take longer to process, so give yourself some grace and time to heal before attempting to write about it.

Writing about your personal ghosts takes courage. But doing so can help you write more compelling stories and create more meaningful connections with your readers.