Creating Stories with Child-like Wonder and Delight

Sing like you know the words, dance like no one’s watching, and love like it’s never going to hurt. — Unknown

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 Christmas always makes me feel like a kid again. It’s that time of year when I realize that I really am a kid at heart. I love the decorations, the music, the lights and especially the gift-giving.

It’s especially joyful when I watch children. I see their eyes grow wide with wonder and delight at each new experience, from sitting on Santa’s lap to seeing brightly wrapped presents under the tree. Everywhere they look, they see something fun and interesting to explore.

I call this “Christmas delight.”

Children experience the same delight through the things they create, whether it’s a drawing, a poem or a dance. They make things up as they go along, and they don’t worry about editorial guidelines and rules. They just do what they feel in their heart. They only know how to express themselves, to laugh, to have fun, to delight in their own creativity.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all experience this same wonder and delight with our writing?

A recent essay on Brevity’s Nonfiction blog got me thinking about our capacity as writers to delight in our own creativity. The author, L. Roger Owens, described his experience when he lost the joy of writing. Even as he struggled with writer’s block, he admired the unabashed joy his daughter expressed in her own creativity. She proudly read her stories out loud to a roomful of strangers. She spoke enthusiastically about plot points and character motivations. She delighted in her original turns of phrases. Things Owens wasn’t able to do with his own writing.

For Owens, repeated rejections and strict editorial guidelines squashed his creativity. A lack of interest in topics he was assigned to write about through his job killed his enthusiasm too.

Why are we able to experience this delight of creating as children, but lose it as adults?

Whatever we create as adults seems more open to scrutiny, not just our own, but that of editors, publishers and our peers. What we write seemed unique at first but now seems mundane and boring. Too many rejections and negative feedback weighs us down. We worry more about pleasing others than ourselves. All that negative input kills our enthusiasm, our joy.  

It may seem that the child-like wonder and delight for writing is lost forever. But it’s possible to reclaim it. Here’s how:

1. Pretend you are a child again. Do you remember how you felt when you finished writing a story? Did you take pride in your creation? View your writing as a child would. Children have no knowledge of editor’s rules or expert writing advice, so they are not worried about how people might react. They write for themselves, for the pure joy of creating. Perhaps we can learn from children to live in the moment and enjoy the process of creation.

2. Give yourself permission to fall in love with your work. It’s okay to appreciate turns of phrases, story ideas, plot lines, characters, and witty dialogue. So what that it may never be published, that it might land on the cutting room floor at your editor’s office. Even if you don’t use the material, keep it anyway. Create a file of writing that you review periodically to remind yourself that you are capable of writing enjoyable stories, even if they are never published.
 
3. Read your work out loud. It doesn’t have to be a large auditorium. Whether it’s an audience of one or ten, it doesn’t matter. Getting up to read your work takes courage and shows pride in your writing. When you read it out loud, even if it’s a first draft, you may find it isn’t nearly as bad as you think.

4. Don’t take your writing too seriously. Remember that writing is just one aspect of your life, not the only thing. “Writers are entertainers,” writes author Barbara O’Neal in Writer Unboxed blog. “We’re supposed to have fun. If you’re not, it’s probably time to find something else to do for a while.”

5. Allow yourself time to play. Take a break from writing and do something else, advises  O’Neal. Indulge in a favorite hobby, visit a museum, or go for a hike. Bring a small notebook with you and jot down any details you notice in your environment. As writers, we spend a lot of time closed off from the rest of the world. It’s important to get out as much as possible, engage with other people, commune with nature and the world at large. We need to give our brains a break from creating – and to give joy a chance to rise again.

6. Illustrate your story rather than write it. Put away your laptop or your notebook. Instead, take out a piece of paper and draw images to tell your story, writes Ben Soyka at the Writing Cooperative. Readers are more visual and enjoy having visual aids to go along with the stories they read, he explains. Besides, the illustration process forces you to develop new creative skills while you consider different ways to share your stories.

Losing the joy of writing is bound to happen at some point in your practice, especially when you put so much of yourself into it. Have faith that the child-like delight will return. And when it does, imagine how much joy you’ll bring to your readers.

Thank you for reading. Happy Holidays! Don’t forget to check out the weekly writing prompt in the sidebar.

In an Era of Self-Isolation, Christmas Greeting Cards Help You Stay Connected

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Call me old-fashioned, but I’ve always liked sending Christmas cards. There is something about sitting down with a stack of cards, a little Christmas music playing in the background or a favorite Christmas movie, and writing heartfelt notes to my closest friends and family members. At a time when most of us are self-isolating and practicing social distancing, however, it may be even more important to send holiday cards to bridge the gap between ourselves and our loved ones.

Christmas cards remain as popular as ever. According to the Greeting Card Association, 6.5 billion greeting cards are sent out every year and 1.6 billion are Christmas cards. Millennials lead the way in buying and sending holiday cards, as many of them marry and start families.

Some would argue that Christmas cards are not cheap and they’re time consuming. “Just connect with people on social media. Or send an email, text message or a greeting from an online service like Blue Mountain or Jacquie Lawson? They’re cheaper and more convenient than snail mail,” others would say.  

One Millennial, in fact, explains why she stopped sending Christmas cards and suggests we should all do the same. She argues that greeting cards are mass produced as boxed sets, so they lack personalization.

Those are all valid points. But I argue that not everyone has email or owns a computer, including members of my own family. Sending email greetings feels too impersonal, and I fear my message might not be viewed as heartfelt arriving via computer.

Further, it’s important to me to reach out to people I don’t see or talk to often to let them know that I am thinking of them. That’s especially true for relatives who aren’t on social media or own a computer. (Not everyone does, you know.) I don’t have email addresses for everyone I know, but I do have a physical address.  

While it might be time-consuming to handwrite notes and put addresses on envelopes, it doesn’t take nearly as long as you think. My 25 cards takes about three hours, the length of a football game, including a personal message. It might take you less time than that. Look at it this way: if you can make time to put up holiday decorations and bake cookies, you can make time to write out Christmas cards.

Handwritten greeting cards have other advantages:

1. Greeting cards can be personalized. I can add personal notes, mention an experience that I shared with the recipient or express optimism about a forthcoming event. With each card I write, I feel a connection to the person I’m sending the card to. To make it truly personal, skip the pre-printed cards and use a blank notecard instead. Write your own message inside. For ideas on what to write, check out these suggestions from Hallmark and Good Housekeeping.

2. Greeting cards provide space for inserts. They allow me to include additional materials, such as photos, an invitation, tickets to an event or gift cards. True, there are ways to include these items to an email, but as I mentioned, some people may not have access to email or a computer to receive them.

3. Greeting cards slows down the pace of life. Writing out greeting cards is not a fast process. It forces me to slow down the pace of my life to think about what I’m writing and to whom. For a few hours in a day, I become wholly present in the moment to prepare personal sentimental messages.

4. Greeting cards are tactile. I like shopping for greeting cards, and feeling them in my hands. They simply feel more real to me than an online version. It’s much like the feeling I get when I hold a book in my hand rather than read it on a computer screen.  When I shop for cards right after Christmas, I can buy them at a steep discount and keep them on hand for the following season.

5. Greeting cards are more memorable. Most people I know display their Christmas cards so they can see them throughout the holiday season. You can’t do that with online greeting cards or email messages, which are transient in nature. I like to display cards around my fireplace so I can see them every day. When I see cards that loved ones have sent me, I get a warm feeling inside knowing that other people are thinking of me.  

In this time of COVID-19 when most of us are socially isolated from our loved ones, Zoom calls and video chats may not be enough to convey holiday cheer. Further, this pandemic has made many of us seek new, meaningful ways of connecting. Sending greeting cards, as old-fashioned as it seems, can cut through the electronic clutter. Sure, there are the costs involved, like the cards themselves, postage and the time spent writing messages, sealing them and stamping them.

It might be easier, cheaper and faster to send online greeting cards, but the online versions lack an emotional connection. Isn’t that emotional connection what we want with our loved ones, especially at Christmas?

So if meaningful connection with loved ones is important to you this Christmas, don’t overlook holiday greeting cards. They just might be worth the extra effort to let someone know you are thinking of them.