Why Pets Make the Best Companions for Writers

February 11, 2021February 10, 2021 ~ The Regal Writer ~ Leave a comment

Check out this week’s writing prompt!

Many writers I know live and work in isolation. Luckily, most of them seem to have a loyal furry friend (or two or three) to keep them company. That begs the question: Do pets make the best companions for writers?

The answer to that, of course, depends on where you live, how many people live with you, and whether you like animals or have pet allergies. But more often than not, most writers I know have made room in their lives for a furry pal.

You don’t have to own a dog or cat to appreciate the benefits of pets. Even a goldfish or guinea pig can provide comfort and inspiration when you need it. Colleen Story at the Writing and Wellness blog describes the pros and cons of different types of pets, including horses, goldfish, birds and rabbits. Imagine that you can have a different pet for different reasons!

In fact, writers and their pets are such a fascinating topic that entire books have been written about them. Check out this one by Alison Nastasi and this one by Kathleen Krull.

So why are pets such an important part of writers’ lives? They provide multiple benefits, some related to health and others related to our work.

1. Pets provide inspiration for our work, sometimes acting as a writer’s creative muse. They may show up in stories as a secondary character. Think of Alice Walker and her chickens. She loved her chickens so much, she wrote an entire book about them! While Edgar Allen Poe did not own a pet raven, he was inspired by Charles Dickens’ pet raven to write about them.

2. Pets are good for your health. According to the Center for Disease Control, having a pet helps lower blood pressure, triglycerides and cholesterol. Pets can lower stress and improve levels of happiness in their owners. Pets need regular exercise to stay healthy and strong, and it’s only natural as pet owners to join them on their excursions. Pets remind us of the importance of regular fitness breaks to keep us active and strong.

3. They provide companionship. In these days of social isolation, when Zoom calls have become the norm, it can be comforting to hug a furry friend. I believe curling up with a dog or cat while reading a book is one of life’s most cherished moments.

4. They teach us about routines. Cats, especially, are creatures of habit. They live their lives by routine. They like to eat at the same time every day, take naps in the same spots, and play with the same toys. Writers who are just starting their writing practice can benefit from establishing a writing routine, just like cats establish their grooming habits. Having a routine can be good for our writing because it establishes a steady rhythm to life.

5. Pets remind us to take frequent breaks. Cats and dogs may race around the room chasing after toys, but afterward, they stop to rest. They take frequent naps too. The time outs are necessary to restore their energy so they can bounce back and play more. As writers, we need to take breaks too to restore our energy, to think more clearly and

6. Pets provide comfort when things aren’t going well. Whether we’re fighting writer’s block or we’ve just received a rejection notice from an editor, pets make us feel that our lives are okay despite the disappointments. Even better, they provide comfort too when things go well. Imagine a congratulatory lick on the face when you’ve just finished a story you’ve slaved over for several weeks.

7. Pets provide unconditional love. We may hate the story we just wrote or the publication that just rejected our essay. We may feel down on our luck and question why we put ourselves through the wringer. Pets love us anyway. As long as we feed them, play with them and keep their litter box clean, they’re happy, and they’ll gladly return the favor.

8. Pets will never share your secrets. When it’s just you and your dog or cat, you can chat with them all day and they won’t tell a soul what you’ve said. They don’t spread gossip either. While they might occasionally misbehave and talk back in their own animal way, they won’t betray your trust. They make good listeners too. So if you need an audience for your latest short story or poem, they will gladly listen – as long as they’re not napping.

Since writers often work in isolation, it’s important to surround themselves with a strong support group, even if that includes a favorite furry friend or two.

Do you have a furry companion in your life? How have they inspired you in your writing?

How to Love Your Writer Self (Even When It Isn’t Perfect)

February 8, 2021 ~ The Regal Writer ~ 2 Comments

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Check out this week’s writing prompt: Write about a time when a stranger did something nice for you.

As individuals, we play different roles – parent, child, student, employee, boss, spouse and friend. Add one more to that list – writer.

The writer self may start out small and vulnerable, like an infant or toddler. Just like a toddler who is just learning to walk, your writer self must learn to walk too. That means taking baby steps, such as writing a little bit each day, taking a class or workshop to develop skills and experimenting with different writing styles to figure out what kind of writer you want to be.

Most important, as you grow into your writer role, you learn to recognize your strengths and weaknesses as a writer. You also must learn to love your writer self, flaws and all. In her book Milk and Honey about resilience and overcoming adversity, Rupi Kauer writes, “How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.”

At My LA Therapy blog, Tobias Foster writes, “Accepting our strengths and weaknesses and reconciling the conflicting parts in our inner world is critical to our health and happiness. You cannot achieve anything substantial in the outer world without fixing your inner world.”

In order to make an impact with your writing and create meaningful work, you must take steps to clear your inner world of negative thoughts and replace it with kinder, gentler ones. You must strive for self-kindness and self-acceptance. “Having self-compassion builds resilience in the face of adversity, and helps people recover more quickly from trauma or romantic separation,” writes Ana Sandoui in Medical News Today. “It also helps us cope with failure and embarrassment.”

The harsh self-criticism we give ourselves, she adds, is because we’re driven by a deep need to do everything perfectly all the time, which can cause physical and mental health issues down the road.

So what does all this mean for writers? How can writers move past these mental and emotional road blocks to become a more loving writer self? Here are a few tips for practicing self-compassion for your writer self.

* Avoid judging yourself. Or at least, don’t judge yourself so harshly. This isn’t as easy as it sounds. You may not be aware that you are judging yourself because you may become so lost in your own world that you don’t pay attention to your own thoughts. Many times, we are our own worst critics when judging our own writing. If you find yourself judging yourself too harshly, have someone else review your work. They may be more objective than you, and they may find that it’s not nearly as terrible as you think it is.

* Recognize that perfection is a myth. Realize that no one is perfect; we all have flaws we’d prefer to hide from the public. But as part of a larger community of creatives, you experience the same feelings of self-doubt and fear. That makes you more alike with your fellow creatives than you are different. When you accept that you are not perfect and everyone else is not perfect, you won’t feel so alone or as different as you fear.

* Avoid comparing yourself to others. One mistake new writers make is comparing themselves to other writers, especially to those whose work they admire. Remind yourself that you are at a different experience level than they are, and you bring a different set of experiences to the table. When you compare yourself to others, you will always lose. You will set yourself up for failure before you even begin. Know that your life experience and writing skill has value.

* Learn to practice mindfulness. Whether through meditation, yoga or journaling, it’s important to quiet your mind so you can hear yourself think. Be still and be in the moment. Turn off social media and electronic devices and turn in to yourself. You may realize that your thoughts aren’t nearly as negative as you believe them to be. When you practice mindfulness, you develop emotional equanimity – that feeling of being in balance with your inner world, and you’re less likely to identify with painful emotions and experiences that can hold you back from writing.

* Don’t seek approval from other people. When you begin writing, it may be important to seek other people’s opinions of your work. You may wonder if you’re moving in the right direction, or if the story you’re writing is boring. While it’s important to get feedback, don’t let it influence your writing practice. Take everything than anyone says with a grain of salt. Remember to write for yourself first, then for your readers. If you write strictly for someone else’s approval, you will never be satisfied with your effort because you will always be looking at it through their eyes. Learn to trust yourself.

* Practice self-kindness. Learn to forgive yourself for any mistakes you’ve made. As I mentioned, no one is perfect. Treat yourself as you would treat a friend or a sibling – with kindness, compassion and understanding. Learn to speak tenderly with yourself, suggests mystery author Julie Glover. If you’re constantly berating yourself about your writing, then flip the script. Talk to yourself as a lover would, she says. (Glover gives a nice example of this on her Writers in the Storm blog.)

When you practice self-compassion for your writer self, you’ll forgive yourself for your mistakes and become more resilient in the face of adversity, such as a loss of a contract or a bad review.

Most important, remember that no one is perfect; all writers and creatives are flawed in some way. It’s a waste of time and energy to let self-doubt ruin your writing. In the words of poet Henry David Thoreau: “It is not worth the while to let our imperfections disturb us always.”

How Writers Can Cultivate a Strong Relationship – With Their Writing

February 4, 2021 ~ The Regal Writer ~ Leave a comment

Check out this week’s writing prompt on my website!

February is the month for love and romance. It’s the time of year when our thoughts turn to our closest relationships, whether they be with a spouse, significant other, a friend, a child or a parent. Even if you’re not in a relationship currently, your thoughts may stray to someone you’ve loved before, or would like to love in the future.

In the publishing business, your closest relationship could be with your agent, editor, writing coach or readers. However, don’t overlook the most important relationship – the one you have with your writing.

Is there such a thing as a writer-writing relationship? Yes, if you think of your writing life as a separate entity. You can either embrace it, welcome it into your life with open arms, or reject it as some strange being who insists on getting more attention from you, more than you can possibly give to it.

If you do recognize your writing life as a separate being, how do you built a loving, kind and respectful relationship with it? Here’s one example of a writer-writing relationship, courtesy of Annie Mueller. Also check out this anatomy of a writing relationship by Samantha Stout.

I believe that a writer’s success hinges on how well they relate to their craft. If you love what you write, your writing will love you back – or at least it should. If you give it the time and attention it deserves, your writing will reward you down the road, even surprise you when you least expect it. Just like a real relationship with a human being.

What you and your craft create together is as close to a partnership as you can find. Your writing can draw you out of yourself and bring out the best of you. It can showcase your deepest thoughts and emotions, and show how you have grown through life experience.

Likewise, your time, attention and effort will make your writing shine to editors and readers. Sure there will be rough spots when one or both of you don’t feel inspired to work with the other. There will be times when you ignore each other even. But then those periods may be followed by happy reunions when you work so seamlessly together and you wonder how you ever thought you could live without the other. You need each other, like sunshine needs the rain to keep the earth’s flowers from drying out.

As I’ve explored my own writer-writing partnership experience, I’ve noted a few rules of engagement to make sure it works. Here’s how you can create a healthy relationship with your own writing endeavor.

1. Spend quality time with one another. Try to minimize distractions. Whether you spend an hour a day or several hours a week, it’s important to use that time to learn about each other, to recognize strengths and accept the flaws. Understand each other’s desires and motivations, what makes you tick. If you don’t spend quality time together with your craft, how will your relationship to each other ever grow strong?

2. Recognize each other’s faults, and love each other despite them. Your writing has weak spots, quirky characteristics, routines and tendencies. With time and attention, the writer in you can strengthen those areas and perhaps lessen their detrimental impact. Your writing is an extension of yourself, with all its flaws and mysteries. Your writing is not perfect, but then, neither are you. So accept the flaws, improve them if you can, but otherwise, accept them for part of who you are.

3. Stay friends, even during the rough patches. You may never fully fall in love with your writing, but at least make friends with it. Develop a healthy respect for each other. Keep the lines of communication open to leave open the possibility of a reconciliation. Even as friends, you can learn and grow together.

4. Know when to make sacrifices and special accommodations for your other half. There will be times when each of you will need to make sacrifices and special accommodations for the other, just as if you were in a relationship with a human. For example, your writing may call to you at the most inappropriate times, like during your son’s soccer game or during a movie. It may demand you take notes of a new story idea. You’ll have to decide whether to give in to that demand or ignore it, which could be risky because you don’t know if that idea could evolve into a meaningful story.

5. Keep your heart engaged in the process. Whether writing soulful stories or romantic poetry, be sure your heart is truly engaged in the creative process. Share your deepest fears and your triumphant moments. That’s what will bring out the best in your writing. Without heart, your writing will appear bland and boring.

6. Take a break from each other when necessary. If you lose motivation to write, it might be time for a trial separation. The break might give you proper perspective on your writing partnership. It might give clarity about where you want to go with your current work-in-progress and how to get there. Alternately, if the relationship is beyond repair, dump the project that’s giving you problems and move on to something else.

7. Ask yourself why you love to write. If you love writing for all the right reasons, then you are bound to have a strong, healthy relationship with it. But if you’re doing it for the wrong reasons, such as seeing your name in print or writing to please someone else, the writing side of your partnership may suffer at some point and your interest it may wane. When you remember your ‘why” of writing, you’ll likely return to center and stay motivated through difficult stretches.

It may seem odd to treat your writing as a significant other, but think about where you would be without it. When you view your writing as a true partner that you love for life, you’ll treat it with the care and devotion it deserves. Both you and your writing will thrive.

Need Motivation for Your Writing Practice? Find a Writing Buddy

February 1, 2021 ~ The Regal Writer ~ Leave a comment

Don’t forget to check out this week’s writing prompt.

Last week I wrote about participating in a writer’s group to help you get past writing blocks and keep you on track toward your goals. But writer’s groups aren’t for everyone. Sometimes you don’t want to share your work with a group of people, but instead, only one other person. That’s where a writing buddy comes into the picture.

A writing buddy is just as it sounds – a person to share in the journey with you. You may have different writing goals (publish short stories vs. polish off that novel that’s been hiding in a desk drawer), write different genres (women’s literature vs. romance), live in different parts of the country (the West Coast vs. the Midwest) and live different lifestyles (one married and one single, for example). While you may have different writing experiences, one thing you do share is a love of writing.

The concept of the buddy system is borrowed from the fitness world where two people might engage in a weight loss plan together. They may arrive with different fitness goals and use different approaches to reach those goals, but neither wants to go through the journey alone. It helps to have a buddy to experience the ups and downs of the process, and to challenge and motivate one another along the way.

Writing buddies can provide the same kind of support. They’re there to inspire and motivate you when your interest lags. They make you accountable for your progress. You know you have someone who supports your efforts, encourage you every step of the way. Writing buddies can also exchange ideas and knowledge about crafting stories. They can also serve as a beta reader for your current work-in-progress, and be your initial reviewer, editor and proofreader.

However, writing buddies are not collaborators; they’re not there to work with you on the same project. Rather, a writing buddy has their own project that they are working on, separate from yours. They are also not a mentor or coach, who provides encouragement and support, but don’t receive any support from you in return. They’re not a boss either, who might teach you a few things about the craft, but may not be working on any project at all.

For a better idea who makes a good writing buddy, check out this article from Writing-World.com. Carol Sjostrom Miller writes that over a six-month period of working with a writing buddy, she wrote more, submitted more stories for publication and sold more than she had before finding her buddy. If you’re a new writer or want to ramp up your writing production, having a writing buddy might be the solution you’re looking for.

So how do you find someone that wants to be your writing buddy, and where do you find them? For starters, it should probably be someone you already know, not a total stranger. It could be someone you’ve met at a writing workshop, at a conference or a former member of a writer’s group that’s looking for a similar arrangement.

When you already know someone, you don’t have to go through that uncomfortable “let’s get to know one another better” phase. Since you’ve already bypassed that phase, you can focus on assessing your writing goals and what you want from your writing buddy.

If you think a writing buddy is right for you, here are a few characteristics you might want them to have – and what you should be willing to share in return.

1. They must love to write as much as you love to write. This is obvious. The key is “as much as you love to write.” Are you both at the same level of writing? Are you each writing every day, or are you each struggling to make your daily word count goals? If you already have someone in mind for this important role, assess where you both are in your writing practice. Knowing where you each are on the journey and where you want to go will make it easier to work on equitable terms.

2. They’re non-competitive and non-judgmental – and so are you. Check your egos at the door. Writing buddies are neither collaborative nor competitors. They’re not there to judge you harshly or tell you how silly you are to write for young adults. They’re supportive and helpful, like the volunteers who pass out cups of water on the marathon race route or cheer you on at the finish line.

3. They bring an alternate perspective to your writing, and vice versa. Because you may both have different writing backgrounds, you’ll provide alternate perspectives that the other party may not have considered. Having that different perspective means you can share practical and meaningful insights that will help you each grow as writers.

4. You learn as much from their writing process and they do from you. Because you’re each on your own writing journey and working toward individual goals, you each have something to learn from and share with the other person. Perhaps you’ve discovered a more efficient way to edit a first draft that can help your writing buddy, or they have heard of a new online magazine that publishes your genre of short story. There’s an easy give-and-take in the relationship.

5. You both provide helpful, insightful and constructive feedback. Feedback is important to help you improve, so both you and your writing buddy should know how to provide meaningful feedback, not just be a cheerleader. Criticism can be hard to take, but it’s necessary to grow as a writer. Be constructive with criticism and communicate clearly and with sensitivity. There is a way to provide helpful advice without destroying their ego.

6. You both practice positivity. It’s easy to lose faith in your project and your talent over the long haul, so it’s important to team up with a buddy who can stay focused and optimistic to help you out of the doldrums. Likewise, your own positivity should motivate your buddy to stay the course.

7. You celebrate each other’s successes. When you’ve reached milestones, gotten over writing humps or finally published that story you’ve slaved over for months, a writing buddy can share in your joy. Be sure to share in theirs, writes Barbara Beckwith at the National Writers Union.

Writing buddies aren’t a perfect solution, and some buddy relationships may go through rough spells or end altogether. Yet others can last longer than some marriages. But for greater motivation and productivity, a writing buddy may make your writing journey more worthwhile.

Five Signs That You’re Ready to Join a Writer’s Group

January 25, 2021January 25, 2021 ~ The Regal Writer ~ Leave a comment

This week’s writing prompt: What date on the 2021 calendar do you have circled? Is there a special event that you are looking forward to this year? Why is this date circled?

Writing is often a solo journey, but sometimes you need to pick up a few passengers along the way. You may be at a point where you need to hear different perspectives about your work-in-progress or pick up tips from fellow writers. Perhaps you hit a wall and can’t seem to write another word. That’s when you may benefit from joining a writer’s group.

Not every writer needs or wants to join a writer’s group. They can get by with working in isolation before sharing their work with two or three close confidants. Other writers, especially beginning writers or hobbyists, relish the social interaction and feedback that groups provide.

Wherever you are on the writer’s spectrum, there will come a time when you will want to seek support or feedback for your work. That’s where a writer’s group might be a practical move on your part. Sometimes the insights of other writers can point you in the right direction – or a different one that you had not considered.

Writer’s groups aren’t for everyone, however. There are a few dangers to groups, writes Jennie Nash in this guest post at JaneFriedman.com. You may find that the writers in the group are either more experienced or are all beginners. You will have to decide what level of writers you want to work with. Writers who are struggling with their own writing may not be the best judge of your work.

Other times, members may not know how to give constructive feedback because they either don’t want to offend you or because they simply don’t know what they should be commenting on, Nash adds. In those instances, it might help to express what you want them to look for. Generic feedback may not help you improve your writing. But a more specific request, such as whether the dialogue sounds natural, may be more helpful.

Then there is the decision to join a writer’s group. How do you know you are ready to take the plunge? Here are five signs that you might be ready to join a writer’s group.

1. You’re tired of working in isolation. When you work solo most of the time, it’s necessary to grab some social time to balance your writing schedule. This is especially important during the current pandemic where most of us are working from home. A writer’s group can provide that social outlet. Whether you decide to meet once a week or once a month, you can develop some meaningful friendships while improving your craft.

2. You want feedback on your current work-in-progress. Perhaps you’ve been plugging away on a novel that just doesn’t’ seem to be moving along at the pace you intended. Or your characters seem flat, or you’re unsure where to go next with the plot. Having other writers review and provide feedback on your work can help you figure out what you may doing wrong and what you can do to fix it. Your group members may see things that you don’t.

3. Your productivity is lagging. You want accountability for your writing practice so you can stay productive and meet your writing goals and deadlines. Since writing is more of a marathon than a sprint, a writer’s group can provide the support you need through the long haul.

4. You’re looking for beta readers to test out story ideas. You’ve come up with one or two story ideas, but you’re uncertain whether there’s enough substance to make them work. A writer’s group can help you assess the story, whether it needs more development or whether to save a scene or two for another plot, or simply to dump the idea altogether. Again, member feedback can give you needed perspective.

5. You’ve exhausted all the traditional modes of learning your craft. Through a writer’s group, members can swap stories of personal experience, learn from one another, and exchange writing resources. It’s another form of education beyond classes and workshops.

Before signing up for a writer’s group, however, you need to assess your own writing needs. According to Brooke McIntyre in this guest post at Jane Friedman’s blog, there are several questions you need to ask yourself.

* What is your writing experience? Are you a beginner or are you more experienced. Joining a group of beginners may test the patience of a more experienced writer.

* Do you have a completed manuscript to share now? Or are you more interested in a group that will motivated you through the finish?

* Do you have a consistent practice currently? Or are you looking for motivation to start a consistent practice?

* Where do you want to go with your writing? What can a writer’s group do for you now to help you get there? What do you want from it?

* What other ways are you developing your writing progress? Have you attended workshops and classes? Have you read books, blogs and magazine articles to learn about writing? If you’ve exhausted all these avenues, then a writer’s group might be the next step.

Once you understand where you are in your writing practice, where you want to go and how to get there, you can decide if you’re truly ready to join a writer’s group.

Five Ways Your Writing Life Improves When You Say “I Am a Writer”

January 21, 2021January 19, 2021 ~ The Regal Writer ~ 2 Comments

For many aspiring writers, it can be difficult to say the words, “I am a writer.” Deep down, they feel they don’t deserve the title because they’re new at writing. Many newbies argue that they don’t feel justified in calling themselves a writer because they haven’t published anything.

But the truth is, it’s a key step in your writing journey. Because if you are serious about your writing, you need to call yourself a writer.

But if you write, you are a writer. It’s as simple as that. It doesn’t matter if you craft posts for your blog, pour your heart out in your journal every morning, or slug away on a novel, you are a writer. It doesn’t matter if you are published or not. As long as you are putting in the effort, you can honestly and proudly say, “I am a writer.”

The thing is, once you begin to say it (it might help to say it out loud or in front of a mirror), and say it every day, the name becomes a part of you. Even better, good things happen in your writing life.

As Jeff Goins writes (or more specifically his cat) at The Write Practice blog, “the only way to be a writer was to act like one.” For more definitions about what makes a writer, check out this post by Anne R. Allen.

But I think there’s more to it than what Goins and Allen suggest. Saying “I am a writer” alters your mindset. It’s all about belief in yourself. When you think of yourself as a writer, your behavior follows suit. You begin to form the habits that will make you successful.

Here are five ways your writing life will change when you begin to call yourself a writer.

1. You begin to take your writing more seriously than before. Maybe you already had a writing routine, but now, you’ve decided to add to your daily word count or you have a specific goal in mind, such as writing two novel chapters every week. Maybe you contemplate taking classes to learn more about technique, or you feel a need to share your work with others. Even though you may never get published, you call yourself a writer and you start acting like one.

2. You no longer want to hide behind your writing. You’re more willing to “put yourself out there.” That means reading your work aloud to a roomful of strangers, participating in critique groups or submitting your work to editors. You seek feedback from others in the hopes of improving your craft because you realize you no longer want to work in isolation. You no longer want to hide your writing from others.

3. You’re no longer afraid of expressing yourself. To say “I am a writer” means you bravely share your ideas and opinions, and speaking your truth. The words you need to say come more naturally because they come from your heart.

4. Your confidence soars. When you say “I am a writer” with a smile on your face, people know you are proud of your calling. You stand taller, and you feel energized. You are filled with story ideas and you can’t wait to work on them. You don’t wait for inspiration to strike before you begin writing. Instead, inspiration finds you because you’ve already been writing consistently.

5. Your writing life becomes more real. This isn’t a fantasy anymore, a dream. By saying, “I am a writer,” the writing life becomes real and worthy of your gifts. Writing isn’t just a hobby; it’s your calling. You decide to do the work you need to do to make your writing life real.

The power behind these four magic words is belief. You must believe in yourself to write and write well. If you lack faith in your abilities or if you believe you are not worthy of this calling, you will never write anything. So it’s important to call yourself a writer to express belief in yourself. And when you believe in yourself, others will follow along on your writing journey with you.

A Writer’s Guide to Self-Care

January 14, 2021January 12, 2021 ~ The Regal Writer ~ Leave a comment

Happy New Year! I’m pleased to announce the debut of my white paper “Find Motivation to Start Writing — and Keep Writing” which you can find on my website.

Also check out this week’s writing prompt: Why do you write? Challenge yourself to come up with at least 40 reasons why you write.

If you’re like me, you probably don’t give much thought to caring for your mental and physical well-being when you’re caught up in your writing projects. You spend hours at your desk planning blog posts or your novel while you forget to eat right or get the exercise you need. But without a strong foundation of health, you may not have the strength and stamina to withstand the twists and turns, ups and downs of your writing life.

Some writers describe writing as more like a marathon than a sprint. You have to prepare yourself mentally and physically for the long haul. Writing is more demanding than most people think it would be. It can take a lot out of you day in and day out. Further, if you run a writing business where you must meet the demands of clients and work on deadlines, that adds more stress to your day.

It’s important for writers to manage their self-care. There are several simple things you can do every day to make sure you are healthy and strong. Below are my tips for practicing self-care.

1. Get plenty of rest. Sleep is key to restoring your energy levels and mood. I can always tell the difference in my energy levels and motivation when I sleep seven hours compared to only four or five. Sleep really does make a difference. I wrote about sleep and creativity here. But sometimes sleep can be difficult to come by. Experts suggest cutting back on caffeine, shutting off electronic devices a few hours before bedtime and avoid heavy meals before bedtime. If you find yourself routinely waking up at three or four in the morning, rather than fight the sleeplessness, try reading for an hour before trying to go back to sleep.

2. Eat healthy meals and snacks. To maintain your energy throughout the day, make sure you’re eating healthy foods with plenty of fruits and vegetables, and protein and fiber to keep you feeling fuller longer. Drink plenty of water – at least eight glasses a day – and don’t skip meals. If you feel your energy lagging mid-day, eat healthy snacks to tide you over until dinner time. Try an apple with a handful of nuts or nut butter, veggies and hummus, or cheese and crackers.

3. Get plenty of exercise. Health experts suggest getting at least 30 minutes of physical activity every day. The activity doesn’t have to make you sweat, but you should feel your heart beat faster. Go for a walk, do yoga poses or ride a bike. If you don’t have 30 minutes at one time, break it down into two or three 10-minute breaks during the day. During these mini-workouts, you can dance, jog up the stairs or follow a YouTube fitness video. The fitness breaks will not only help you stay fit and strong, they will give you the energy boost you need to get through the rest of the day.

4. Talk to a friend when you struggle. Sometimes you may feel stuck or lonely during your writing practice. When those situations occur, make sure you call a friend to talk things over, especially if you’re feeling particularly sad about something. Find an outlet for your feelings, and talking with a friend can get you through those rough periods.

5. Curl up with a good book. Sometimes when I’m feeling blue, all I want to do is curl up with a good book. Reading just makes me feel better. Most books end on a positive, happy note, and that makes me believe that happy endings are possible in real life too.

6. Take a long, hot bath. Sometimes just soaking in the tub can ease the tension of the day. There’s something about immersing yourself in warm water that alters your mood. Research shows that warm baths diminish feelings of pessimism and depression because they give bathers a feeling of solitude, comfort and peace. Add scented soap to the water, like lavender which is also soothing and relaxing. Candles are optional.

7. Practice meditation. Sometimes the pace of life moves too fast, faster than we can keep up with. At those times, it helps to practice meditation. Or if you don’t have the patience for meditation, just try to sit alone with your thoughts. Turn off the TV and electronic devices for at least 10 minutes, longer if your schedule allows. Just enjoy the quiet. Sitting quietly helps slow down your breathing and the pace of your life will also seem to slow down.

8. Keep a personal journal. When things get especially emotional and intense, grab a notebook and begin writing. Those thoughts that plague you can interrupt the flow of your work, so you want to find an outlet for them. It helps you make sense of the curve balls that life occasionally throws at you. Once you find an outlet for your personal feelings, you can focus on the tasks at hand.

9. Spend some time with a favorite pet. Most writers I know seem to have a dog or cat as their companion. Many psychologists believe pets are good for your mental health because they help lower blood pressure and reduce stress and anxiety. Pets also make you laugh, and laughing is good for your mental health too. If you’re not convinced, try spending a few minutes a day watching animal videos; they’re sure to put a smile on your face.

10. Get a massage. If you’re like me, you feel most of your tension in the neck and shoulders. A good massage can ease muscle tension and relieve anxiety. But massages can be pricey, so have a friend or significant other give you a good back and shoulder rub.

Self-care is important for your well-being. A healthy mind and body can prepare you to work longer stretches of time. With good health, you can finally finish writing that novel or meet your writing goals.

What do you do to take care of yourself?

Take the “40 Reasons Why I Write” Challenge

January 11, 2021January 5, 2021 ~ The Regal Writer ~ 3 Comments

Happy New Year! I’m pleased to announce the debut of my white paper “Find Motivation to Start Writing — and Keep Writing” which you can find on my website. Also check out the new weekly writing prompt in the sidebar.

“Why do I write?”

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself that question? It’s important to think about the ‘why’ of your writing every so often. Whenever you feel lost in your writing journey, go back to your ‘why.’ It will reconnect you to your mission and set you back on your path.

Recently I came across a new writing challenge: Jot down 40 responses to that very question – “Why do I write?” When you stop to consider how many reasons you have for writing, you will never feel lost.

For a couple of examples, check out these lists from Marisa Mohi and Bryan Hutchinson at the Positive Writer. After reading the first few reasons though, you’ll want to create your own list.

I did the challenge too, and I was able to do it in one sitting. Then after letting it sit for a day, I came back to it, and added a few more. Not only did I hit the magic number of 40, I surpassed it — by a good 10 items.

So grab a pen and paper, and find a quiet place to contemplate this question. Ask yourself, “Why do I write?” It might help to set it up as a prompt, such as “I write because…”

Then start filling in the blank. Bonus points if you can do this all in one sitting.

Give yourself a day or so to set the list aside before reviewing it. You might tweak it here and there, and maybe you’ll notice that you have a duplicate answer. You might even think of one or two more responses.

When you’re done, put the list somewhere where you can see it every day – a bathroom mirror, by your work space, the refrigerator or wherever. If you want, share it on social media too. Invite others in your circle to participate in the challenge.

So how did I do with this challenge? Here’s what I came up with. “I write because…”

1. I love working with words.
2. I enjoy story telling.
3. My bosses and teachers always complimented me on my writing.
4. I like sharing positive, uplifting messages to my readers.
5. I like escaping into other worlds I create.
6. I express myself better in writing that I do verbally.
7. I’ve always enjoyed reading, so it only made sense that I would write too. The more I read, the more I want to write.
8. I come from a family of teachers, so I use my writing to teach and motivate others.
9. I was inspired to write by some of my favorite authors, especially the late Mary Higgins Clark.
10. I enjoy using my imagination.
11. I like developing different characters, especially strong female protagonists.
12. I like the challenge of experimenting with different genres.
13. I like the challenge of creating different plots that people may not have seen before.
14. It helps me release my negative emotions, like anger and grief.
15. It helps me document my life experiences
16. It helps me heal from old and new wounds
17. Writing relaxes me.
18. I want to leave a lasting legacy of my existence.
19. I like seeing my work published.
20. Writing has no age limit. I can write well into my 80s and 90s if I want to.
21. I tend to live inside my own head so I might as well make good use of the space there. J
22. I write to make people happy, because I like to see them laugh and smile at my stories.
23. I write because I have more story ideas than I know what to do with.
24. Writing gives me the freedom to choose what to write about. There are no limits to subject matter.
25. Writing helps me describe and make sense of the dreams I have during the night.
26. Writing is portable. I can write anywhere and at any time. All I need is a pen and paper.
27. Writing is a great hobby to have.
28. Writing is a great career to have too.
29. I write because my soul calls me to do so.
30. I write because I like getting a byline.
31. I write because it’s an extension of my identity. It’s who I am.
32. I write because I feel I’m making a valuable contribution to society.
33. I write because it makes me feel whole and authentic.
34. I write because it makes me forget what is happening in the outside world.
35. I write because I like to entertain myself.
36. I sometimes use writing to create an alter ego and pretend to be someone I’m not.
37. I like to dream up whole new worlds (world building).
38. I write to set an example for young, aspiring writers.
39. The more I write, the better my skills become.
40. I can’t imagine doing anything else.

Bonus answers:
41. I write so I can keep my cat company while he sleeps on my desk. J
42. I write because I believe it’s a misunderstood and underutilized skill in the world (especially in the workplace.)
43. I like getting positive feedback about my work.
44. I write because it forces me away from the refrigerator so I’m not constantly snacking.
45. I write because I can’t think of any other way to earn a living
46. I write to get myself out of boredom.
47. Writing gives me a break from watching TV and forces me to turn it off during the day.
48. Writing makes me feel productive.
49. I like the solitary nature of writing.
50. It makes me feel at peace with myself and gives my life meaning and purpose.

Create a vision for your writing practice in 2021

January 4, 2021 ~ The Regal Writer ~ Leave a comment

What does your writing life look like a year from now? What kind of writer do you want to be by then? If this was January 2022, what would you have achieved, especially in your writing?

If you’ve been asking yourself these questions lately, then it may be time to create a vision for your writing practice.

Even if you don’t make New Year’s Resolutions, I’m sure you have ideas of what you want for yourself in the coming year. Envisioning your future writing life isn’t easy – too many variables and unknown factors can throw you off your game. But you can use a number of tools to help you clarify your goals and help you envision your writing life for the coming year.

I’ve written in the past about setting a one-year goal. (You can read about it here.) Five years seems too long in the future to plan that far in advance, so I don’t. I only look ahead for one year. Then working backward from that starting point, I set milestone goals for myself on the way to that year-end goal. Make sense?

Visualization is somewhat like goal-setting. It’s a technique for using positive mental images to achieve a particular goal or outcome. It can help you create the future you want. For example, your goal for 2021 might be to write and publish an e-book for your business but visualization can help you imagine the steps you need to take toward that goal and how you will feel when you accomplish it.

Here’s how I once used visualization (and a bit of intuition) in my career. While working at a membership association some years ago, I started out in a lower level position, but I knew I wanted to work my way up into a manager role. However, at that time, I didn’t think I was being taken seriously in my job by some of the directors. So rather than complain, I assessed my own behavior. I asked myself, “How would I act if I already was a manager? How would I dress? How would I interact with people?”

Over the next few weeks and months, I dressed more professionally and I responded more promptly to phone calls and emails from members and staff. I got to work on time, met my deadlines and proved that I was a reliable worker. I did everything to up my game. Within a year, I had my promotion to manager.

As my case shows, visualization can work. However, as life coach and TV show host Mel Robbins says, it’s doesn’t guarantee success. You might get some version of your goal and it may not happen exactly as you wish or in the time frame you’d like.

Having a vision changes your expectations, Robbins adds. When you alter the expectations of yourself, you alter your behavior accordingly to achieve that goal. Visualization helps you the steps you need to take to get where you want to be. All good things come to those who are willing to work for it.

What tools can help you visualize the future of your writing practice? A few of those below I’ve done on my own; others I’m just learning about. Find one or two that work best for you.

1. Write your vision as if it has already been achieved. Imagine that it is one year from now – January 2022. Describe what your writing practice looks like. Where do you write? Is anyone with you? Are you alone or in a roomful of other people? Remember that it might be different than it is now. What have you accomplished over the past year of 2021? This isn’t about describing what you wish your practice would look like, but putting yourself in a new pair of shoes in January 2022 and looking back at what you have achieved in the previous year. Seeing yourself a year from now can help you reset your goals and expectations for the coming year, as well as the steps to take you there.

2. Create a vision board. This is a fun, creative and personal project that anyone can do. When you have a goal in mind for the year, you create a visual representation of that goal. For example, using the e-book example above, you might cut out pictures from magazines that show someone writing or reading a book, or a laptop and other tools of the writing trade. You can make drawings with markers and add a positive message to keep you motivated. When you’re done, you can set the board somewhere in your office where you can see it every day. For a good example of a vision board and how to create one, check out this post at Mind Body Green. Review and update your vision board at least once a year, more often depending on your goals.

3. Do some heavy-duty soul searching by answering a series of questions. Mel Robbins has a list of questions that can help you visualize your ideal future. The questions can be used whether you’re looking ahead five years or one year. While Robbins’ questions can help you get a handle where your life is right now, I’m not sure how it helps people create their vision for the future. But contemplating your progress so far can be a strong foundation for creating a stronger future.

4. Create a writer’s vision statement. Once you’re done answering the above questions, use the answers to create a writer’s vision statement. Or use the method used by writing coach Marisa Mohi, who says that having a writer’s vision statement can help you stay on track to meet your career goals even as your non-artistic friends don’t understand the path that you’re on.

5. Use visualization exercises. If none of the previous tools work for you, you can always try the traditional visualization exercises, a form of meditation that guides your internal mental images of the life you want to lead. The images are all inside your mind but you can convert them to a visualization board or write an essay about your experience.

No matter what method you use, visualizing your future self as a writer is key to finding success on your terms and building a practice that you can be proud of.

20 Best-Selling Authors Share Their Best Advice about Writing

November 24, 2020November 17, 2020 ~ The Regal Writer ~ Leave a comment

In the U.S., we celebrate Thanksgiving this week, a time to give thanks to the many blessings we enjoy in our lives. At this time of year, I am always grateful for the writing talent I’ve been given, as well as the abundance of story ideas I receive and the courage to share my writing experience with others. I’m also grateful for my readers. Thank you for reading my blog and commenting on posts; it keeps me grounded and motivated to keep writing.

During this Thanksgiving week, I thought I’d share a compilation of the best advice from the world’s most celebrated published authors. Let these words of wisdom serve as motivation for your own work, whether it be a novel, memoir or short story collection.

It’s comforting to know that other writers have gone through the trials and triumphs of a writing journey, like I’m going through now. It’s also worth remembering that though we might each live/work in isolation, we are all part of one interconnected community of writers.

Be grateful for your writing talents, dedicate yourself to learning your craft, and share your stories with pride. Happy Thanksgiving wherever you are celebrating this year. Enjoy!

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“Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout with some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand.” — George Orwell

“The only way you can write the truth is to assume that what you set down will never be read. Not by any other person, and not even by yourself at some later date. Otherwise, you begin excusing yourself. You must see the writing as emerging like a long scroll of ink from the index finger of our right hand; you must see your left hand erasing it.” — Margaret Atwood

“Show up, show up, show up, and after a while, the muse shows up too.” — Isabel Allende

“If you don’t have time to read, you don’t have the time – or the tools – to write.” — Stephen King

“Nothing will happen unless you produce at least one page per day.” — John Grisham

“You take people, you put them on a journey, you give them peril, and you find out who they really are.” — Joss Whedon

“A short story must have a single mood, and every sentence must build towards it.” — Edgar Allen Poe

“Every sentence must do one of two things: reveal character or advance the action.” — Kurt Vonnegut

“When you’re stuck and sure you’ve written absolute garbage, force yourself to finish and then decide to fix or scrap it – or you will never know if you can.” — Jodi Picoult

“Read, read, read. Read everything – trash, classics, good and bad, and see how they do it. Just like a carpenter who works as an apprentice and studies the master. Read! You’ll absorb it. Then write. If it’s good, you’ll find out. If it’s not, throw it out the window.” — William Faulkner

“Run your own race. Don’t worry about how fast someone else writes, how much another author makes, how many followers another author has. Write what makes you excited, and the enthusiasm will come through on the page.” — Christina Lauren

“I think success requires a lot of hours learning the craft through books and workshops from talented teachers, to the point where you have enough confidence and instinct to sit down and say, “I’m now going to perform.” Where you can apply it to your past projects and drafts and understand what didn’t work, as well as what did.” Robert Dugoni, author of My Sister’s Grave

“It’s freeing to actually write the thing that you want to write, because everybody when they start out tries to be the authors that they loved. I was able to explore all of these different voices, but every author has to come up with their own individual voice. It takes a while.” — Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened

“Finish the book and don’t let the success of others make you feel less.” — Beverly Jenkins, romance novelist

“It takes a lot of time and effort to get good enough at writing to make books that are fun to read, and you just need to accept that. I don’t believe that there’s any such thing as a deep natural gift at writing. Even writers who are famous for just one book did a lot of writing before they wrote that book.” — Andy Weir, author of The Martian

“You have to believe in this career, you have to believe in yourself, and you have to move with great determination forward, because it doesn’t matter whether you’re trying to sell your first book or your 50th book, or you’re trying to redefine your career, or you’re trying to reinvent what it is you do, it’s always going to be difficult.” — Kristin Hannah, author of The Nightingale

“Everyone loves talking about how busy they are. But there are 24 hours in a day. Make a half-hour or hour in a day, or an hour in a week, for writing. Just make sure you have one designated time—however long it is, given your constraints—to focus on writing.” — Roxane Gay, author of The Bad Feminist

“It’s very hard to write without having things to write about. That doesn’t mean necessarily going out as ‘a writer’. But having experiences that interest you in the world are a good first step to having material.” — Michael Lewis, author of Moneyball

“I am a huge believer in revision. The more times you write it, the more alive it becomes. For me, very often the first, second and third times it’s kind of dead material, but the more you go over it, the more you rewrite it, the more it comes to life.” — Alice Hoffman, author of Practical Magic and The Rules of Magic

“The best advice I can give is to close the door to your writing room and not worry about anyone’s feelings until you’ve finished a draft. You don’t know what you’ll discover through the writing unless you write it—and considering people’s feelings before you’ve even written is a form of self-censorship.” — Dani Shapiro, memoirist

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