Creative Ways to Express Gratitude

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Next week, many families in the U.S. will be celebrating Thanksgiving with their loved ones. It’s a time to give thanks for all that life has given them.

It’s at this time that my thoughts often turn to gratitude. I pause to reflect on one simple question: What am I grateful for?

Gratitude, though, doesn’t have to be a once-a-year experience. It can also be a regular habit, something to meditate over once a day or once a week. When gratitude becomes a habit and part of a regular thought process, it can offer many health benefits, according to the UCLA Health blog. Expressing gratitude can: 

* Reduce depression
* Lessen anxiety
* Support heart health
* Relieve stress
* Improve sleep

With so many potential benefits for your health, it’s no wonder many people, including writers, have adopted a gratitude mindset. Fortunately, writers have many paths to express gratitude, ranging from something as simple as a gratitude list to more complex projects like writing an essay or short story.

Is there something – or someone – you are grateful for? Take a moment to say thank you, and not just verbally. Use your creative skills to express your feelings. Here are a few ideas to accomplish that, or use one of your own.

* A gratitude list – Take stock of the things you are grateful for in a simple list. Take a moment to jot down the people and things that are important to you. Getting into a routine of making a gratitude list every week or every month can improve your mood and your mindset. 

* A gratitude journal – For some people, a gratitude journal is a regular part of their gratitude practice, something they maintain every day rather than once a week or once a month. They use the journal to record their thoughts about gratitude, and keep track of the ways they express it to others. While the gratitude list may be completed as the mood strikes you, the journal is usually maintained every day and can become part of a regular routine.

* Write an essay. Is there a particular person or event that changed your life in some way? Consider writing about it as an essay or narrative non-fiction piece. The aim isn’t about getting the piece published – although that would be a bonus – but to express gratitude in an unusual and unexpected way.

* Write a short story. If essays aren’t your thing, consider writing the event as a short story. If there’s someone special you want to show gratitude toward, use them as inspiration for one of your characters.

* Send a greeting card (or make your own). I’m a bit old fashioned and love sending greeting cards at Christmas. But there’s no rule that says you have to do that only at that time of year or at birthdays. A greeting card at Thanksgiving expressing that you’re thankful for someone’s love, support, or friendship can be especially meaningful because it’s not competing with other greeting cards. If you have the time and inspiration, design your own greeting card and write your own heartfelt message.

* Write a letter. Contrary to popular assumptions, letters have not gone out of style. A note or letter, especially if it’s handwritten, can be one of the most memorable gifts you can give to someone. People tend to keep these letters and notes for a long time. If you’re not sure what to say right away, draft the letter first then rewrite it on some nice stationery.

* Create a gratitude jar. Don’t have time to write a letter? Want to keep track of all that you’re grateful for? Try keeping a gratitude jar. On slips of paper, write down the name of a person that you appreciate being in your life or an event that changed you in some way. This approach is helpful if you don’t have to sit down to think of everything you’re grateful for, but rather on the fly. After a while, the jar will fill up.

This is an exercise for yourself; no one else needs to know about it. When you’re feeling blue, you can read each slip of paper to remind yourself of the people and events you are most grateful for. 

Do you have a special way of expressing your gratitude?

I’ll leave with this inspiring quote from Plato: “A grateful mind is a great mind which eventually attracts to itself great things.

No blog post next week because of the holiday. Until next time, know that I am grateful to you, my readers, for all your support. You’ve helped me keep this blog going for more than nine years. Thank you!

Why Writers Need to Celebrate Their Failures

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As you might have heard, the Chicago Marathon took place last week, winding its way through the streets of our grand city. Watching the coverage on TV, one comment stood out–that just starting the race is a victory and success in itself.

It’s often said that writing a novel is a lot like running a marathon. The two activities have much in common:

  • Both require hard work to prepare for the long haul. While a writer’s legs may not be moving as they write, their brains are to conjure up plots and dialogue. 
  • Both require commitment of time and energy to keep training and working toward the end goal.
  • Both require continuous learning and dedication. Athletes continue to learn about how their bodies respond to the physical demands of running a race, while writers continue to learn about their craft and how their creative minds work. 

Perhaps the biggest similarity is this: Success comes by getting to the starting line or by sitting down to write. Because the only true sign of failure is not showing up. 

That’s why we must honor our successes AND our failures. After all, failure has a lot to say about our success.

For runners, failure might look like pulling up lame during a race and having to quit, or it might mean an injury or illness sidelines them. For writers, failure might mean never finishing a story you started writing or receiving rejection letters for a story you poured your heart and soul into. 

The Rome Business School in Italy outlines several benefits of embracing failure in our work, no matter what kind of work that might be. Failure can help you:

  • Develop resilience – the ability to bounce back from setbacks and challenges.
  • Encourage creativity – It forces you to consider other solutions to your writing problems and think outside the box.
  • Foster a growth mindset – It helps us view challenges as opportunities, which we use as a stepping stone toward our main goal
  • Build confidence – Failure doesn’t have to define you. Instead, it can set the stage for figure efforts.

Thomas Edison, who invented the light bulb, phonograph, and movie camera, among other things, failed many times. He was noted for saying: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

The lesson to be learned from Edison is this: If we find something that doesn’t work, it doesn’t mean we failed. It simply means that we need to explore other possible solutions. 

Since failure can be instrumental in our career growth, it might be worthwhile to celebrate and honor your writing failures as much as your successes. Here are some possible suggestions:

  • Compile all your rejection letters and save them in a file. Occasionally read them to remind you of how far you’ve come in your writing journey. Seeing the feedback can spur you to keep working toward your goal or to find solutions to some of your nagging writing issues. Some writers even frame their rejection letters so they can see them all the time.
  • Light a candle and read each rejection letter out loud. Alternatively, if you’re working with beta readers or an editor, read aloud any of their negative feedback. Try not to react viscerally to comments, but allow their meaning to sink in. Maybe they didn’t get the message you were trying to convey in your story, in which case you may need to rewrite the message differently.
  • Journal your reactions to failure and rejection. As you write, you might discover why rejection makes you feel like a failure or why it has such a strong hold on you.
  • Rethink the role of failure in your work. Sometimes you have to view it as a stepping stone toward your ultimate goal rather than a dead end. What can you learn from the failed experience? Failure can teach us many things–courage, perseverance, resilience. It can coax you to try new techniques and pull you out of your comfort zone.

Whether you’re an athlete training to run in the next marathon or a writer working on their first (or tenth) novel, it’s okay to embrace failure. It has a lot to teach us if we’re willing to listen to its lesson and learn from it. The only true failure is not trying.

Use These Prompts to Kickstart Your Autumn Writing Practice

There’s a hint of autumn in the air (at least where I live). Once Labor Day passes, I’m ready for pumpkin spice and apple cider, fall foliage, and making soups and stews.

It’s also an opportune time to reconnect with your writing routine especially if the long, hot, humid summer zapped your creative juices. If you’re looking for a chance to start up your writing routine or need some fresh story ideas for fall, I’ve put together a list of 40 prompts that can kickstart your imagination, including a few for Halloween and Thanksgiving. Feel free to embellish or tweak to fit your genre, whether that’s romance, fantasy or narrative nonfiction.

Hope these ideas inspire you to have a little fun with your writing this autumn season.

Just a reminder too that you can find writing prompts on my website, which are updated every couple of weeks.

Autumn-Themed Prompts:

1. An event that takes place in an apple orchard or pumpkin patch.

2. A child/children follow a black cat to some unknown destination.

3. A pumpkin carving contest with a surprise twist.

4. Someone gets lost in a corn maze.

5. An event or mishap takes place during a football game.

6. Grade-school students get a surprise visit from a famous person.

7. A group of people plan the annual fall festival.

8. A farmer and his crew bring in the fall harvest.

9. A character discovers or invents a new autumn-themed beverage.

10. A battle of the marching bands reaches a crescendo during a half-time show.

11. A football player pops the question to his girlfriend on the field.

12. A group of alumni celebrate their university’s Homecoming weekend in an unusual way.

13. A couple marries during a fall-themed wedding.

14. Something surprising and unexpected happens during a tailgating party.

15. A newlywed couple in their new home makes their first attempt at fall housekeeping, including cleaning the garage or attic and clearing out the gutters.

16. A story featuring caramel apples or apple cider donuts or some other apple treat.

17. Someone attempts to make soup, stew or chili and mistakenly adds one surprising and unexpected ingredient.

18. A character reminisces about the last day of the weekly farmer’s market.

19. A story that features one of the following: hot cocoa, hot apple cider or pumpkin spiced latte.

20. Someone sees the fall foliage for the first time.

21. A grade school class goes on a fall-themed field trip – farm, petting zoo or cemetery.

22. A broadcaster makes a blooper during a live telecast of a football game.

23. Someone discovers an old cedar chest in the attic, but it’s locked. How do they get it open? What do they find?

24. Someone without baking skills reluctantly joins a baking contest.

25. A college professor finds a mysterious package on their desk.

Halloween and Thanksgiving Themes

26. A young girl meets a friendly ghost in her new home.

27. A PTA meeting or dance takes place at a haunted high school.

28. A character watches a horror film for the first time.

29. A group of friends or a family tell ghost stories around the campfire.

30. A character wakes up one morning and finds a real skeleton in their closet.

31. A scarecrow in a corn field comes to life after dark.

32. Instead of leaves changing bright colors, they turn purple or black. Why did this happen?

33. Two rival families compete for the town’s annual Halloween decorating contest.

34. College students car pool home for Halloween weekend. What happens when their car breaks down or they make a wrong turn?

35. A child wakes up one morning and discovers he/she has magical powers.

36. A character experiences Halloween or Thanksgiving for the first time.

37. Something goes terribly wrong at the Thanksgiving Day parade.

38. An unexpected and unwelcome guest arrives for Thanksgiving dinner.

39. A character is forced to share a ride home for Thanksgiving with someone they don’t like.

40. Children find something unusual inside their Trick or Treat bag of goodies.

Dealing with Internal Distractions (or How to Get Out of Your Own Head)

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One of the most frustrating aspects of writing is dealing with distractions. You could be making steady progress on your current work-in-progress, only to be derailed by interruptions and negative thought patterns. But to be successful, or at least to successfully complete that beloved work-in-progress, you need to figure out a way to conquer those distractions.

There are two types of distractions: external and internal. External sources of distraction occur outside your work space. It could be extraneous noise, like ambulance sirens blaring in your neighborhood, the sound of drilling as construction work is being done outside your window, or a group of children playing. There could also be external interruptions closer to home–the frequent ringing of your phone, the sudden desire to do housework or the constant temptation to check your social media for updates.

For the purpose of this post, I’m focusing on internal distractions–the ones that claim valuable headspace. Those thoughts are often counterproductive, derailing you from your best creative efforts. There are five internal distractions that I’ve come across in my writing practice, and I’ve given each of them a name. You’ve probably met them at some point too. 

For each “character,” I’ll briefly describe how each one interferes with your writing practice and what you can do to limit its impact.

Negative Nellie
Nellie is a chatterbox who won’t stop talking about what a horrible writer you are. Her negative self-talk grates on your nerves and drains your self-confidence. If you keep listening to her, her words will sink in and you’ll begin to believe all the negative comments she makes. Negative Nellie is adept at pointing out all your faults and suggesting how you will never measure up.  Negative Nellie’s main purpose is to slow you down enough to make you rethink your career as a writer.

To offset Nellie’s negativity, you have to remain positive. To turn those negative thoughts into positive action, try repeating some affirmations. Here are a few examples, or you can create your own:

* I’m a talented and creative writer who works hard to develop my craft.
* I write every day with passion, enthusiasm, and determination.
* I experience joy whenever I write.

Debbie Doubter
Debbie is Nellie’s close cousin. They’re very similar in mindset, though Debbie isn’t as relentless in her derailing efforts as Nellie. Still, her words can hurt you by prompting you to question yourself. “What made me think I could become a writer?” or “No one will ever want to read what I’ve written.” Once you begin to doubt yourself, you lose faith in your writing, and you lose heart. If enough doubts set in, you might give up on writing altogether.

What you need at times like this is more confidence. One way to gain that confidence–and keep the self-doubt at bay–is to focus on your small successes. Did you write only 300 words when you were aiming for 1000? Congratulate yourself on those 300 words. Did you finally finish that chapter you’ve been slaving over for the past week? Great! That’s one more milestone you’ve reached. When you celebrate each small success, confidence builds over time.

Wendy the Worrier
Wendy wastes much of her time worrying about things that will likely never happen. That’s because her thoughts are geared toward the future instead of being focused on the present. “But what will you do if you fail?” she might ask. “What about your regular job? You can’t give that up just to write full time.” 

The solution to all this worry about the future is to stay in the present. The truth is we can’t control what happens in the future, but we can control what we do in the here and now–like writing. We can control what we write and how much we write. But we can’t control how people will respond to our writing. Their emotional responses belong to them. Focus on what’s important now, and the future will take care of itself in its own time.

Unfocused Fiona
Fiona is a distraction magnet. Every little thing bothers her. She can’t concentrate on any of her work because her mind is drawn to so many things, like activities she’d rather be doing on a fine summer day or knowing that her friends are out enjoying dinner while she has to finish the  next chapter. Maybe you had an argument with your spouse, and you’re still feeling upset about that and can’t concentrate. Or maybe you’ve learned a loved one has died. Emotional disruptions can interfere with your productivity too because you’re thinking about those episodes rather than on your current project.

The antidote to Fiona’s lack of concentration is to work in small bursts. Rather than one long writing session of, say three hours, work for twenty minutes, then if you feel up to it, do another twenty minute session later. Those smaller sessions don’t require as much emotional or physical energy. The fact is being under such emotional duress isn’t going to help your writing. If, even these shorter sessions don’t work, then take a break from writing and exercise self-care for your emotional needs. Another option is to work on non-writing tasks that will still give you a sense of accomplishment. Try sketching out a few scenes or sorting through files. 

Critical Chris
I’ve saved Critical Chris for last because she is the most disruptive relative of all, and I think she affects almost every writer. Critical Chris can’t help herself. She’s down on everyone. No matter  how talented another writer is, she’ll find fault with their writing. “It’s too business-like. You’re not writing for corporate executives.”  “There’s too much dialogue.” or “Is this the best you can do? I’ve seen ten-year-olds write better stuff than this.”

Admittedly, it’s hard to shut off the criticism. But it’s imperative to try. For every criticism, reframe it as a positive statement. For example, if Critical Chris complains that there’s too much dialogue, your reframed response might be: “Sure, but the situation calls for it in the story.” Or “it’s only the first draft; I’ll fix it during the revision.”

If any of these characters are frequent visitors in your headspace, acknowledge that they’re there, then find a way to minimize their distraction. Most importantly, keep writing. Writing is a form of therapy. 

Have any of these internal distraction characters interrupted your writing life? How did you handle them?

Amid Chaos, Stories Matter Even More

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Imagine if we lived in a world where there were no stories–no stories to write, to tell, to read, to enjoy, to make us laugh and to make us cry. Where would we as humans be? How could we live? What would we know and understand about our lives?

Writing stories matters. But for those stories to matter, they need to be conceived and written.  That’s where writers and creatives come in. The world–as chaotic and uncertain as it may be–needs us.

If you’ve ever stopped to wonder why you’re putting yourself through the emotional and physical turmoil of writing stories, think about all the good you’re doing for the world, for your audience, and most importantly, for yourself.

Tiffany Yates Martin said it best in the latest issue of Writer’s Digest (print version, so no link is available to the article.) We may feel overwhelmed by the chaos happening around us to the point that we can’t find the motivation to write. Yet that is exactly when writing stories matters the most. 

Yates Martin outlined five reasons that stories matter through turbulent times:

  • Stories offer solace and hope. Stories offer comfort, especially during times of unrest. They not only offer an escape from our troubles and worries, Martine writes, they remind us of what’s important and what’s worth fighting for.
  • Stories connect us in a divided world. Because stories provide insight into the human condition through alternative perspectives, we can learn to understand the universal longings and struggles that others experience. We might understand what motivates people we might disagree with, and perhaps see them as just as complex, flawed and wounded as we are.
  • Stories make sense of the senseless. Our world is often messy and complex. Stories can help us make sense of the chaos by offering logic and cohesion. It may offer a big-picture view that we may not have considered.
  • Stories give a voice to the voiceless. Stories can highlight the injustices and oppression that others might experience, and thus heighten our awareness of it. Consider The Diary of Anne Frank which put a human face on the plight of Jews during the Nazi regime.
  • Stories can change the world. Stories can broaden and impact people’s views, which in turn can spark needed change. For example, Uncle Tom’s Cabin fueled the abolitionist movement that ended slavery. While our own writing won’t necessarily change society on a grand scale, it might change individuals in some way by providing inspiration and insight that they might not have had before.

While Yates Martin speaks about the collective reasons for writing stories, there are personal ones too. We all have our personal reasons for writing and telling stories. I’ve compiled my own list of reasons below:

  • Writing stories presents a new challenge to my skillset. I’ve always been a competent business writer, but writing fiction is a totally different animal. It wasn’t enough to be a good writer and string a series of sentences to create a cohesive thought. The question I wanted to answer for myself was: Could I become a good storyteller? Storytelling requires a different skillset than business journalism. Learning how to tell a good, compelling fiction story was a new challenge.
  • Writing stories calms me and keeps me grounded. With so much turmoil and uncertainty in the world, writing stories gives me a safe space away from all that. When I can put those disruptive news stories out of my mind, I can focus on what really matters to me–my writing.
  • Writing stories is one thing I can control. With everything happening around us–from weather-related disasters to social and political strife–it can feel like the world is out of control or that we have no control over our environment. And in many cases, we can’t. I may not have control over the unsettling changes taking place in our world, but I do have control over the stories I write. I can control the direction of the plot, the narration, the dialogue, the way the characters may grow and change. I can control how the story ends–usually in a peaceful, happy way.
  • Writing stories allows me to give free rein to my imagination. Otherwise, those brilliant ideas dancing in my brain will only remain trapped there. By writing them down, I’m bringing them to life.
  • Writing stories enables me to communicate a message to others. This is usually through the story’s theme or a character’s words of wisdom. I might be too afraid to speak for myself, so through stories, I can let a character do the talking for me.

The next time you feel tempted to walk away from your desk and give up on your story, or if you have trouble finding the motivation to write, think about why you do this. Why do you write stories? Why are you writing this particular story? Because writing stories not only can change the world, it can change you. 

Seven Excuses Writers Make to Avoid Calling Themselves a Writer

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When I first started writing fiction in earnest several years ago, I would call myself an “aspiring writer.” I still occasionally call myself an “aspiring novelist.” Only after hearing a published author suggest dropping the qualifier “aspiring” and simply say “I am a writer” did I feel brave enough to do that. When I did, something funny happened. I felt liberated and empowered, like I had grown wings and could fly whenever I wanted to.

Adding a qualifying term like “aspiring” to your writing title is like riding a bike with training wheels. Those wheels might help you learn to ride the bike, but at some point, you have to take them off and start pedaling.

“Adding ‘aspiring’ may feel small and inconsequential, but it’s not,” writes Lisa Fellinger, author of Write with Confidence: Shatter Self-Limiting Beliefs and Finish Your Book, at the Jane Friedman blog.  “It reinforces the belief that you’re not quite there yet, that you haven’t earned the title. Every time you call yourself an aspiring writer, you’re feeding the imposter syndrome that keeps you stuck.”

It doesn’t matter how much experience you have with writing either. Published authors struggle with this as much as novice writers. For example, at the KillZoneBlog, thriller writer James Scott Bell admits that he struggled to call himself a writer even after he had several published books under his belt. 

So why are so many writers reluctant to call themselves a writer? Fellinger hinted at one reason: imposter syndrome. But I can think of several other possible reasons for this avoidance tactic. 

  1. I haven’t published anything yet.”

    Maybe your current project is a work-in-progress. Never mind that you’ve been working on it for the past five years or longer, and you have nothing published to show for your  hard work. You believe that only published writers are worthy of the title. But the reality is as long as you show up and put in the effort, you’ve already earned the title of writer. So don’t shy away from it.

  2. “I don’t get paid for my writing; it’s volunteer work.”

    Many writers believe that they haven’t truly arrived as a writer until they’ve been paid for their work. Payment legitimizes their writing, and by extension, legitimizes the title of writer. Again, it’s about showing up and making the effort, not the final product or the reward. For many writers, writing is the reward.

  3. “My writing is a hobby, nothing more.”

    Maybe you already have a full-time job that pays the bills, such as accounting, teaching or fixing cars. That’s how you identify yourself. Writing may only be a hobby and you have no desire or expectation of publishing success. Perhaps you write for fun and relaxation. The belief is you can’t truly call yourself a writer if you’re only writing as a hobby. But in life, we wear many hats. Who’s to say that you can’t identify with several personas–a teacher, a mother and a writer? It’s okay to call yourself a writer, even if it is a hobby or side hustle. It’s the effort that matters.

  4. “No one knows I’m writing. This is a secret passion and I haven’t told anyone.”

    If no one knows that you’re writing, then you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone and you don’t have to openly call yourself a writer. Perhaps you believe no one will understand this strange compulsion to write. But the truth is that as long as you’re putting in the work–even in secret–you’re still a writer. What you’re lacking is confidence. If this sounds like you, try this experiment. Stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself, “I am a writer.” Keep saying it until you feel comfortable. Then reach out to your closest friend or family member, someone you know and trust, and speak those words to them too. With repetition and practice, you may eventually believe you are a writer.

  5. “I’m not a very good writer.”

    An inability to call yourself a writer may stem from a belief that your writing isn’t good.  The belief is that only the best writers deserve to be called writers. The truth is that no writer starts out their careers at the top of their game. In fact, many of them aren’t very good at all. But they became successful by working at their craft. Most writers produce really bad first drafts (sometimes even second and third drafts). That doesn’t make them any less of a writer. Through persistent, hard work, their writing improved. So will yours. It’s the effort that counts.

  6. “I’m afraid that once I call myself a writer, I will have to take this writing habit of mine more seriously.”

    Yes, that is likely true. Calling yourself a writer means making a stronger commitment to the writing journey and becoming the best writer you can be. It means doing the things that will improve your craft. Saying “I am a writer” shows confidence in your talents, even if you don’t necessarily feel that way inside. Sometimes you have to fake it to make it. Start calling yourself a writer and see what follows.

  7. “I was told when I was younger that writing is not a suitable, respectable or legitimate career path.”

    Sadly, many writers have heard this criticism. If someone has convinced you that writing  is a waste of time, you’ve got some work to do. Thanks to this brainwashing (because that’s what this is), you’ve avoided calling yourself a writer to prove to critics that you’re toeing the line. Worse, you’ve probably avoided writing at all. But deep down, that urge to write is still strong. I say, write anyway. What matters more is how you feel about writing. So the next time you take a shower, prepare dinner or lie in bed before sleeping, tell yourself “I am a writer.” Keep repeating it like an affirmation. Before long, the words will sink in

Many writers have overcome these mental obstacles to create satisfying, respectable and legitimate writing careers. Think about your own excuses for not calling yourself a writer. What’s holding you back? What can you do to change your mindset and proudly say, “I am a writer?”

Do You Have the Right Mindset to Be a Writer?

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If you’ve ever struggled to write consistently–and what writer hasn’t–the problem may not necessarily be lack of time or lack of motivation. It may be because you lack the proper writer’s mindset.

Yes, there is such a thing as a writer’s mindset. The best description of the writer’s mindset comes from the Derbyshire Writing School:

* A writing mindset is about developing a way of thinking that supports our creativity, productivity and persistence within our written work.

* It’s about reframing our thinking and challenging negative patterns of behavior and automatic thinking.

* It’s about harnessing your attitude and self-belief to power through blocks to write.

In my mind, the writing mindset is about being in the right headspace to write. It’s learning to banish negative thought patterns that might interfere with your creativity and productivity. It’s about refraining from making excuses about why you don’t write. 

Whether you’re just starting out on your writing journey or you’ve been writing for some time, there will be periods when you doubt your abilities as writers and wonder if you should keep pursuing your writing dream or give up on it.

Don’t give up on it just yet. To know if you need to adjust your mindset about writing, ask yourself the following questions.

1. Is writing fun or is it a chore?

When you look at writing as one more thing to add to your to-do list or it’s become a chore that you don’t look forward to doing, like washing dishes or cleaning the bathroom, then you’re not in the proper mindset. Writing should be fun. The fun is in finding the right words to convey your thoughts and emotions and seeing your stories come alive on the page. If it stops feeling like fun, think of how it can be fun again.

2. Do you believe in your writing talents?

Try this exercise: On a scale of 1 to 10, how much belief do you have in your abilities? If you have little faith in your talents and abilities, writing will seem harder, storytelling will be like trudging through quicksand. It’s not always easy to block out the voice of the inner critic. The key, I think, is to surround yourself with people who DO believe in your talents. Allow them to buoy you so you can float past the times when self-doubt tries to sink your best efforts.

3. Are you taking care of your creative needs?

We can get so caught up in our everyday responsibilities that we neglect our personal needs–whether that’s emotional, mental, or physical. Our creative needs are just as important, but we tend to forget this aspect of our existence. I believe our need to express ourselves becomes more pronounced as we get older. We need to heed the call to create, whether it’s painting, dancing or writing. Taking care of our creative needs is good for our well-being–and it’s good for our writing.

4. Do you believe in the story you’re currently working on?

If you don’t care about the subject matter or if the story doesn’t feel quite right, that can make you feel that you’re wasting your time. Not everything you write will be quality work. In fact, much of it will be junk. Don’t let that stop you from keeping at it. With practice, comes excellence. Writing is a process of self-discovery, which is never time wasted. So keep writing, and keep discovering. If you’re still not satisfied with the story or don’t believe in it, it may be time to switch things up.  

5. Are you constantly comparing yourself to other writers?

Comparing yourself to other writers is a trap. Don’t fall for it. When you compare yourself to others, you will always fall short, which can kill your writing career before it ever starts. The truth is you don’t know how long they’ve been writing, or what obstacles they’ve had to overcome to achieve success. You don’t know what their journey has been like. But you do know about your own journey. It’s okay to learn from the success of others. Just avoid comparisons because it will stop you in your tracks.

6. Do you wait for inspiration to strike before you write?

If you’re always waiting for inspiration, you may be waiting an awfully long time. Inspiration doesn’t come at the snap of the fingers. Since starting my own writing journey, I’ve found that the more I sit down to write, the more stories come to me. Now I have more stories in my head than I have time to write them! That’s never a bad problem to have. So even if you don’t feel like writing, even if you think you have nothing to write about, sit down and put words down on the page. The door to inspiration will open eventually.

7. Are you focused on the process or the outcome?

When you write, are you more concerned about what the end game looks like, such as landing that first contract, or is the writing process more important? Many successful writers say they didn’t set out to be famous but to write their story. The fame and success came later after they had made a commitment to sit down and write. Focus on the process of writing. Tell your story. As a colleague once told me years ago, “Success comes before work only in the dictionary.”

8. What does success mean to you?

Being a successful writer means different things to different people. For some, success means self-publishing their first novel. For others, it’s simply getting through the first draft and getting the words down on the page. Yet others believe success comes with signing a contact with a publishing house. Think about what success means to you. Then take steps to achieve it. 

Having the proper writing mindset is no guarantee of success (whatever that means to you). The only true measure of success is sitting down to write. Think of the writing mindset as one more tool in your toolbox.

5 Life Lessons Learned from 2024

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Happy New Year!

With another year in the books, I like to look back on what I’ve accomplished over the previous 12 months—both in my personal life and in my writing. Like most people, I know there are some things I could have done better, like sticking to my writing practice when events disrupted my flow or spending less time on my phone playing games.

Fortunately, taking time to look back also gives me perspective so I can learn from those miscues and form a plan for the coming year. There are always lessons to be learned from each year. Here are five lessons I learned from 2024.

1. Stay flexible with your writing routine. While it’s important to set goals for your writing practice and establish a routine, recognize that those plans aren’t etched in stone. Allow some flexibility to your routine because you can be sure that life will throw you a curve ball or two, such as a work assignment that needs a rewrite, a sick pet that needs to be taken to the vet, or a weather emergency such as a tornado or flooding.

In my case, it was minor surgery to remove a suspicious mass (it was benign) and my cat’s illness which meant putting him down. I didn’t plan for either of these events, so I had to work through them to keep my practice going. I admit it was a struggle. There were days I didn’t write at all because my head and heart weren’t in the right space. I needed time to mourn and to heal. Once those phases ended, I knew I was ready to recommit to my writing practice.

So stay flexible and recognize when you need to change your writing routine. You can always come back to your writing when the crisis ends.  

2. Decluttering can cleanse the soul as well as your closet. Decluttering was one of my resolutions for 2024. But with my health and pet emergencies, I didn’t get to it until the fall. I managed to fill two large bins to donate to a non-profit group. But looking ahead, I know there’s more work to do in 2025.

The process of decluttering forced me to confront some things I didn’t realize I was holding onto, old dreams I once had. I had to decide whether to keep them or let them go. It’s an emotionally draining process, but a necessary one. It meant removing old memories and old dreams that no longer served me, but might have been holding me back from achieving new goals. Funny thing is, after this first round of decluttering, I was contacted by a potential new client about a writing assignment.  I’ve heard rearranging furniture can have the same effect. So if you’re feeling stuck or want to move forward in a new direction, try decluttering or moving furniture around. It might just help make space for something new to show up in your life.  

3. Practice self-care. No matter how many obligations you have, no matter how many assignments you’re working on, it’s important to practice self-care. It doesn’t require a lot of time either. Go for a short walk, soak in the bathtub, take a nap, exercise, read a book, meditate, or chat with a friend. Any short break away from the heaviness of everyday life and responsibilities can give you a fresh perspective and renewed energy. It will help you be more creative and productive too. So make time to practice self-care. Your writer self will thank you.

4. Be open to unexpected opportunities. Every now and then, the universe provides an unexpected surprise in the form of an opportunity. It could be a writing assignment from a potential new client or a chance to travel. When the sky opens up like that, it seems like fate is intervening. When it happens, I trust in the universe and say yes. You never know where that new opportunity may lead. And when it comes to my writing career, any stroke of luck is welcome.

5. Keep on writing, no matter what life throws at you. Life happens. People get sick, beloved pets die and friends move away—or show up suddenly in our lives. Through all the upheaval, it’s easy to dismiss our writing practice as non-essential, or worse, you’re too distraught to think or to write. On the other hand, writing can provide comfort and stability during those times when life seems uncertain. Even if you spend only ten minutes a day on your writing practice, every little bit takes you toward your writing goal while also helping you heal. So keep on writing, no matter what happens in your life.

What lessons have you learned from 2024? How will these lessons guide you into the New Year and motivate you to achieve your next writing goal?

Six Strategies to Overcome Writing Anxiety

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It doesn’t happen often, but every now and again, I suffer a bout of writer’s anxiety. I could be typing along at a pretty brisk pace, making progress on my novel, but in the back of my mind, I begin to wonder if my writing is good enough. Other times, the anxiety is brought on by a challenging client assignment. In those instances, I want so much to do well and impress the client that I worry myself to death over the details.

Fortunately, my cases of writer’s anxiety are usually short-lived and not so severe that I can’t continue writing. But it does give me pause about my capabilities.

According to the Writing with Anxiety blog, writing anxiety is the feeling of apprehension, tension and fear that occurs when you’re about to write or even in the middle of writing project. It can affect you physically, emotionally, mentally. Physically, anxiety can manifest as sweaty palms, a faster heart rate, rapid toe tapping, or excessive blinking. Emotionally, the anxiety might make you cry or pace the floor. Mentally, it could freeze you to the point where you can’t think straight, or you might relive an episode from your past when you were criticized for your writing.

It’s usually not the act of writing that causes the anxiety, but the outcome. There’s worry and fear about how your work will be received, and those feelings can galvanize you into inaction. Memory can also play a role. If you’ve been criticized too harshly in the past, or if people doubted your talent and commitment to writing, those memories can carry over into your current work.

Sometimes deadlines can set off a series of setbacks. With a looming deadline or something valuable at stake, such as a winning a scholarship or completing a MFA program, that can also bring on a sudden case of writer’s anxiety.

In an interview with Writers.com, writing instructor Giulietta Nardone believes writing anxiety starts in childhood. In school, she says, we are often taught that there is only one right answer to a problem. But writing isn’t about finding the right answer. Writing is about exploration. It’s a process of discovery—of ourselves, of the world around us, of life’s mysteries, etc.

When you stop searching for the one right answer and focus instead on exploring the infinite possibilities around you, your writing will flourish and you won’t worry so much about what other people think because it will no longer matter what they think.  

Every writer is different, of course. Some people have more severe cases of writer’s anxiety. They may stare at the blank page for hours, summoning up the courage to begin writing. But they are so beset by fear that they don’t write a single word.  

I believe a little bit of writing anxiety is normal. Even the most experienced writers and those with numerous published titles to their name experience some anxiety when starting to write a new story.
So it’s natural that you might suffer writing anxiety too at some point. When it happens, know that there are several things you can do to minimize the tension. While these strategies may not work for everyone, they can be a starting point to helping you feel more grounded and secure about the writing process.

Strategy 1: Talk to someone. When you begin to feel anxious, find a friend, your spouse, a writing buddy, teacher, or even your pet (who may not say much but make good listeners.)  Venting your emotions to someone close to you can help you feel better. Writing buddies, coaches and teachers can be especially helpful because as creatives themselves, they’ve likely experienced anxiety about their work and can provide meaningful insights.

Strategy 2: Write in a journal. Even if you don’t keep a journal, writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you understand where your anxiety is coming from. Knowing the source of your anxiety is the first step to overcoming it.

Strategy 3: Practice yoga and meditation. Both of these practices can help you develop mindfulness and help you stay focused on the present moment, which can counteract the mind spinning we do when we worry about the future.

Strategy 4: Go for a walk or do some form of exercise. Tension can build up in your body, especially if you have no outlet to release it. Make sure you’re getting some exercise every day. When anxiety hits, going for a walk can release that pent-up energy. By the time you get back to your desk, you might feel more energized to start writing again.

Strategy 5: Focus on what you can control. Realize that you can’t control people’s feelings, and you can’t control what happens in the future. What you can control is how you feel and what you do. What you can control is your writing—when you write, how much you write, the types of stories you write, etc. When you focus on yourself and not on how others perceive you, you empower yourself to do your best work.

Strategy 6: Feel the fear and keep writing anyway. Sometimes the best way to keep the anxiety away is simply to acknowledge that it’s there and keep writing in spite of it. Use the fear and tension you feel to your advantage. Let those feelings propel you, not paralyze you. Feel the fear (about writing) and do it anyway.

Strategies for Coping with Writing Anxiety

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Writing doesn’t come easy for a lot of people. The prospect of writing even one word paralyzes them. They’re so anxious about writing something that others will eventually read that that freeze, unable to write a single word. Even the most prolific published authors claim to feel anxious about the writing process some of the time.

Writing anxiety is a very real thing, affecting hundreds of thousands of people each day. It’s far more common that you think.

I’m not talking about writer’s block, which is the inability to come up with the topic or story you want to write. You draw a blank when you stare at the page. You are literally blocked from writing anything.

Writing anxiety is different. It’s defined as the tension, worry, nervousness or other negative feelings about a writing task. Think of it as stage fright for the written word. Just like a novice actor might freeze up under the spotlight, so do writers freeze up when they have to write about something.

It doesn’t matter if what you’re writing is a 300-page novel, a 1000-word essay, or a letter to someone you know and care about. Writing anxiety can strike at any time.

Whereas writer’s block occurs when you can’t think of anything to write about, writing anxiety is more about the feelings associated with your message and audience. You may know exactly what you want and need to say, but fear how it will be received.

Causes of writing anxiety

Experts say there are numerous causes of writing anxiety—from the pressure to perform to trying to please a specific audience. Fortunately, there are several strategies that can help you work through your writing anxiety.

Cause #1: Pressure to perform.

Writing anxiety may occur when you perceive the stakes to be high. For example, a grad student who is required to write a dissertation to complete their academic studies may feel anxious because the stakes are so high. The pressure to perform a writing task at a high level to receive the promised rewards can increase a person’s anxiety.

Cause #2: Lack of understanding of the writing task.

When a writing assignment for work or school seems complex or vague, that can cause some anxious moments too. No matter how many times you look over the assignment, nothing makes sense. It’s difficult to know where or how to start a writing project when you’re not sure what the finished product is supposed to look like. Lack of understanding of the writing task can result writers to feel anxious to the point that they produce a poor quality product.

Cause #3: Desire to please someone or a specific audience

Sometimes writing for a specific audience can cause some anxiety. For example, if you’re submitting an essay for a writing contest, you might feel anxious about being judged by a group of strangers. Or perhaps you’re trying to impress a new client after they’ve given you the first assignment. You want to do your best work, but with the stakes so high, you agonize over how they will view your work.  

Cause #4: You’re attempting to learn a new writing style

As writers, we’re often faced with learning a different style of writing. Perhaps as a novel writer, you’ve never written poetry before. Or as a longtime business writer, you’re trying your hand at writing grant proposals, which is not part of your portfolio. There can be some anxiety when you’re learning something new.

Cause #5: Desire to please someone close to you.

If you’ve ever had someone in your life who has had high or perfectionist expectations of you, you know how anxious you can feel to try to meet those expectations. Or conversely, they belittled your desire to be a writer. Even if that person is deceased now, their words of encouragement (or discouragement, as the case may be) can still ring in your ears many years later. This, too, can create feelings of anxiety whenever you sit down to write.

Any one (or two) of those causes can paralyze you into inaction, resulting in writer’s block.

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Strategies to counter writing anxiety

Fortunately, there are ways you can deal with writing anxiety. The nervous feelings may never go away completely, but these strategies can help you work through the issues preventing you from writing.  

Strategy 1:  Do some soul searching.

Pinpoint why you’re feeling anxious about writing. Is it the process that scares you? Is the assignment too complex or vague? Or are you trying to please someone with your writing?

Journaling can help you sort through your feelings and thoughts. Or talk to a close friend or relative who can lend an empathetic ear and perhaps provide valuable insights.

Strategy 2: Be clear about the writing task.

If the reason for the anxiety is a writing assignment that is vague or complex, talk to the person who assigned the task to get their perspective. The last thing you want to do it tough your way through the assignment, then turn in something that doesn’t meet their requirements. Get clear about what is expected before you begin.

Strategy 3: Break down the writing project into smaller pieces.

By tackling smaller chunks of the assignment, you won’t feel so overwhelmed. If you’re writing a dissertation, for example, tackle a section at a time, even one page at a time. With a little bit of effort each day, you’ll soon see steady progress as the number of completed pages grows.

Strategy 4: Don’t worry about first drafts.

First drafts are never perfect. Get your ideas down on paper first. You can always refine them later. Alternately, you can use an idea board for working out the overall project. I like to use the bullet point method where I jot down each individual idea that I want to include in my manuscript as bullet points. This approach helps me organize my thoughts and makes sure I’m including every detail.

Strategy 5: Do all your research up front.

If your writing project involves research, doing much of your research before writing can help you understand your subject well. You become a mini-expert and gain confidence in your ability to speak and write about the topic. The writing process goes much more smoothly when you feel confident about the subject matter.

Strategy 6: Read your finished work out loud.

It’s never easy to hear criticism about your written work. It might help to read your piece aloud to someone and get their feedback. This will help you get used to the feedback/critiquing process. Reading it aloud can also help you pinpoint problem areas in your writing so you can correct it before you submit it.

Have you ever suffered writing anxiety? What strategies did you use to get past those feelings so you could write with greater confidence?